why does she like to pick a fight & destroy my wkend/leave?

last SG · 2006-06-18T18:51:08+00:00

from what i see, she will stop screaming eventually but she will bear a grudge later on.

M©+square SG

I suggest you do a search on 'bismarck' and read up all his family issues?

It dated a few years back till now.

dragg SG

i guess nobody can give him any advice anymore.

Mr. Green

M©+square SG

To me, he didn't need advice, he needs solutions.

We realise the advices in this threads are repeated.

Laughing Cheers

bismarck SG

i did tell her i didnt want to wait for her anymore prior to returning to my room. i told her i am not going out since she is still doing her emails.

apparently some of u got something against me. Rolling Eyes

huiz SG

we gave advice according to the story you gave us. but you left out this part, it will naturally affect our judgement to some extent. Rolling Eyes

why so fast conclude its we having something against you?

bismarck SG

sorry,
my mind's on something else right now.

digicharat SG

shes your mum for goodness sake.

storywolf SG

2 big babies that abuse saf counsellor and tax payer money !!!

best thing to do SAF counsellor should recommend both you and your mon to mental hospital or maybe lock up in DB for a day or two, that will resolve all the issues.

I-like-flings(m) SG

x 2... wah.. even the mod of Aunt Agony also sian of giving advice to this patient already... i'm not alone Laughing

Devil1976 SG

COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN.

Maybe more, but that would be the 1st barrier you'll have to break through...

M©+square SG

Laughing Yes.

Ito_^ SG

enough to film a serial like "ah cheng". no offence intended. Laughing

rikki SG

Lets not think on the bad side first. Lets just see, why would she do such a thing at the start? Let me tell you something, if she’s doing this kind of thing to you if could actually she’s having some problems thats lieing deep in her. And instead of crying infront of her husband. She did it in front of you, She might think that you understand her. Why don’t you, have a quiet time with her. Ask her. Whats wrong or anything, its fine. Never wrong to ask.

FORGET-ME-NOT SG

I think she is having some problem and need some attention. Is she being neglected? She is a human too and I think maybe she need some concern from you. Be more patient to her, remember the times when you were young and she was the one who took care of you or the ten months suffering she went through while having you in the stomach.

ShrodingersCat SG

i think its a build up. and if the resentment is already built up in you, very difficult to move on ba. Its like what they say, if you like someone, the person pour soup over you also never mind. But if you dont like someone, the way the person hold the spoon u also cannot stand.

If what happened to you happened to me (as an isolated incident) honestly I dont know.. err.. why u are angry leh? My mum is always like this one, drag time drag time, I just relack one corner watch tv or watever loh.... until she ready to go. Not like I always spend time with her or what.

But if it is becos of previous related incidents, then well, it will be very difficult to solve the problem ba.. becos every small incident that recur again, you will have a strong emotional reaction to it.

gsg919 SG

oh man, sounds like MY mum….. my only advice wld be to tahan, let her have it her way.

FORGET-ME-NOT SG

Regardless how hard, she is sill your mum. Love her because she love you too.

FORGET-ME-NOT SG

Regardless how hard, she is sill your mum. Love her because she love you too.

Praetorian111 SG

In most cases, parents think they know their children at the back of the hand however forgotten the fact that they have already grown up and have their own set of thinking. There is nothing wrong of parents giving advise on what courses to take, since they are already engaged in the workforce they may be more aware of the work situation than ourselves(the children).

The breakdown in communication between you and your parents (especially your mum) may be due to inability to understand one another. Your mom may be using situational explanation to explain what she does while you may see her action as a dispositional factor(her personality). This causes the differences to occur between you and her.

Put yourselves more in her shoes and maybe you will see why she behave like that.

Cheers

Devil1976 SG

Notice how you always give reasons or presumptions for the actions you carried out... In others' minds, they might sometimes be otherwise deemed as excuses... Worse still when they do have even know of those 'reasons'.... Many times we just PRESUME that the other party SHOULD know our reason(s) for doing things.. That's when COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN comes about on a primary basis....

And on the other part where the forumite has suggested that when you've already engaged a biased view of someone for quite a while, you would tend to have distorted perception of things...

'Reasons' labelled for her actions and often but just your perceptions and presumptions of things...

Sorry to be blunt, but take examples?

"she repeatedly raised her voice and screamed at me when i refused to talk to her and she acted like a kid, stomping her foot on the floor and whimpering."

- because you refused and ignored her (maybe more than that in her eyes)?

"kept hammering on the door, threatening to break down my room and call my PC."

- because you ignored her and locked the door?

At this point, you've got 2 separate options...

1. To choose to go through and think about what I've told you, and maybe even attempt to better the situation next time..

2. Be stubborn about it and dismiss whatever I've said.

It's really your choice and your call...? Because it's YOUR LIFE...?

But... Before you start to complain about things again next time... THINK THROUGH CAREFULLY... Why are those things happening to me..?

Is it really LUCK? Is it really because people all over me are really f*cked up..? Or is it because...?

And even if situation or people are not that fantastic, can you do something to change things for the better...?

Don't always think in terms of what's your loss and what you SHOULD be gaining... Because if everybody just thinks about themselves... You'll probably be ZERO down to almost nothing at the end of the day Question

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