So confused

confusemind SG

I am working in a fashion shop. Recently i got to know a girl, a very beautiful thailand girl...She brought alot of clothes in my shop, have a great time with her because she seems so friendly. She spend one hour in the shop and in the end she spend over $700 on clothes.

Somehow, before she left the shop we exchange phone numbers. We chat every night, she told me that she is studying in singapore and she is doing her degree. She did work part time but she doesnt want me to know where she work. As times goes by, from normal friend to close friend. We being going shopping together, watch movie, eat together etc etc. I am a very normal looking guy, walking with her, guys will give a second look at her, i confess to her that i love her after we being together for 3 months. She say she wanted to but she can't. I told her what is blocking our relationship and she say it's her part time job.

She need money to support her studies and end up she works in geylang. I am shock, speechless.. She cried and she told me she really love me.

Please guide me...

This 4 months, time spend with her we always on dutch and i am too poor to let her cheat...

I love her for who she is

Please advice...

shade343 SG

Love has no boundaries. If your love for her is pure, Im sure you would accept her for who she is.

junh SG

earn more and pull her out of the streets..

ppl wont blame u if u leave her, its your right of choice

MetalGear SG

Be realistic here. Be really realistic. If she must work in those lines to support herself, better to just leave her. Trust me. No men can take it knowing their women is being banged by other men for money. If u have the means, buy her out if u reallllly love her. But if u dun have the means n she can't leave her present work, u know what to do.

I'm sorry. Sometimes fate plays the most cruel game on us.

Rgds.

mistyblue SG

be very careful, health wise and money wise. People staring at her might really mean those poeople seen her in her work place and might have used her service. Don't always think she's pretty and therefore people look at her.

Is she here to study or make a quick buck. She didn't get her focus right.
Are you getting your focus right. Thailand has lots of good schools as well. Why did she need to come over Singapore? I find it strange. Some of these overseas 'students' are here on student pass to work as escots/geylang and try to marry into Singapore. Using this its a stepping stone to bring their families out of their country.

How old are you and do you know the issues of going on in these kinds of relationships?

Whatever you choose. Don't regret your decision. And similar to most normal thinking, most men don't take it well when their girl had been sleeping with men for cash even if its for survival. And know that you are giving up lots of other good women for one who had worked in the world oldest profession, seen lots of unsavoury things and done more with men than you dare to think.
Love is good but are you blind, is the more correct question.

hisoka SG

first lets look at her values(i won't say morals though)

shes willing to work at geylang so that she can go around splurging like that 1 hour 700 bucks. what does this tell you about her take on sexual relationships? and from your reaction, it greatly contradicts yours. she's definitely not jsut doing it because she really needs the money to survive.

also if she "has" to spend so much, then if you want her to stop doing the job, then you better be prepared to have deep pockets or something Confused

FORGET-ME-NOT SG

Sound like a show but if she can spend $700.00 on cloths, I doubt she works part time mainly to support her study.

mistyblue SG

there are only select people from the poorer nations who are rich enough to come to Singapore to study. And note that these people don't get any government subsidy so their fees are quite high. Really not many people can afford our education system.

Ask her which school she study in and check her up in that school. Does she ever do homework since she working nights and going out with you in the day?

I make a decent wage but I would not spend 700 in just 1 hr on clothes. Even if you are a handsome and good sales person.

casino_king SG

To some Thai girls doing this kind of job is "not good" but not "evil" or "disgusting."

That is why she told you. A Singapore girl would have hidden it from you and you would have been none the wiser.

If you are into "sexual fidelity" and "virginity" and "sex is evil" kind of beliefs, then you know what to do. You need to ask yourself what your beliefs are.

If you are asking how to lose your feelings for her, then the advise is to tell her that you cannot accept her and stop the relationship.

If you are the type of man who can tolerate your wife/gf sleeping with other men, then I guess we have nothing to say ... other than go for regular health check up and encourage her to do the same.

NewAge SG

Put love aside for a second. Shift the focus to are u able to accept it. If u put love into the picture sometimes in the future when both of u quarrel u might bring the issue up morever how will u be able to go into a relationship with her when u will be constantly thinking about the subject.

confusemind SG

I love her because we click so well, and her english is really very good. I admit there is body contact between us because we walk close to each other but not to the stage of holding hand.

I can see she really treasure this friendship. She show me the URL of the private school and even give me her login name and password to check her student details.

I still remain friends with her but getting into a relationship....I guess something must be done on her part...

Come to think of it... Fate is cruel....very cruel Crying or Very sad

Curious to ask...

Why so many people condemm prositute? I hint to my friends if they have friends who works as a prositute and will they stay far away from the her and most of the reply is yes...

browniebaobao SG

How I wish I can afford to walk into a shop and spend $700 without thinking.

But then, I dun earn money that way.

How long has she been working in that line? I believe she is here as a student, not supposed to work right? You may try to ask her to change a job, for her own sake. She might get the wrong idea that u look down on her bcos of her job, so explain to her slowly and tactfully.

At the same time, help her find another job? I think it's high salary that she's looking for.. see her spending pattern, it's hard to ask her change suddenly. But I have frens working as waitress in pubs, they get quite good salary also. Of course, pub is also not a gd suggestion, but at least she dun have to sleep with men.

We cannot condemn or look down on people bcos of their job because they are also earning a living. I'm not referring to loan sharks etc. But she is really a spendthrift leh. Is she working as a prostitute because she wants to earn money for her school fees or her shopping expenditure?

BrUtUs SG

she quite thoughtful for u... anyway, tell her that geylang is not the only job she can do n if u reali dun mind her past then tell her u accept her for who she is... bring her to the light...

nici SG

Hi

Really sad to hear your story...... its like a dream becoming a nightmare for you.

Other than can click with her, her beauty and chemistry between you and her; have u ever asked yourdself what actually instil this strong feeling of her in you?

To me, I m sorry to say that I can't help feeling that this is a Lust and not Love. She is attractive and beautiful. No doubt a guy like u will be electrified by her!

Just think abt it, she is a foreigner, has she got her PR yet? If u ever think of marriage, it will be a long way ahead for u and pretty troublesome.

Regarding her profession to support her studies, do you dare to bed her now?

Have the thoughts of whether will or did she contract any disease or AIDs as such been running through your mind?

Don't tell me you have never ever thought of having evil thoughts of having sex with her before? Don't you not have the urge? Unless you are not a guy.

This is just a short term r/s.................dun get yourself into a big pile of shiit and suffer later on.

casino_king SG

Most people think of prostituition as a perversion. Why do you want to have a relationship with her? Why not just treat her like a prostitute and sleep with her? You see, you naturally understood that sex and love goes together. That if you separate sex from love, then what you get is prostituition, a pervasion. Ask yourself why you don't just treat her as a prostitute and you have the answer to your own question.

casino_king SG

If by fate is cruel you mean God is cruel, I can tell you that God does not condemn her just because she is a prostitute. As far as God is concern, her prostitution is no worse than you telling white lies. If God condenms her prostitution then God will similarly have to condenm you for telling white lies.

So I suggest that you do not condenm her just because she is a prostitute. What you must understand though is that prostitution carries many risks of sexual diseases and also AIDS.

If by fate is cruel you mean why must you fall in love with a prostitute and why can't she not be a prostitute. If she is not a prostitute you would probably have never met her. Is that what you want? Never ever have met her?

Or do you mean that fate should have stopped you and her from falling in love with each other? Then where does it stop? You want fate to live your live for you? The decisions that you make is what makes life meaningful for you. You do not want to be a slave where your master makes all the decisions for you do you?

hisoka SG

i don't condemn prostitution though i admit i would have problems with my girl being or having had been a pro. its more of distaste rather than disapproval though.

so do you have prob with her having been a pro? if she stop doing it can you accept?

#$%^&* SG

I advise you to find other girls.

You love her, so what.

You will love other girls later in your life.

No big deal.

Dont get yourself entangled.

nici SG

You just need time to get over it.

Maybe weeks,months or yrs later you may feel that oh...how funny i was to fall in love with her.... by the time you may have already found the right woman of your life.

Of course now you are considered madly in love with her..... initial stage. If you allow yourself to carry on in this r/s, eventually there will be one fine day where you finally realised that you actually do mind abt her past. And that will be very healthy for ur r/s and will affect you emotionally and physically.

Now you may say that you do not care or mind abt her profession, but who knows what lies ahead in future? You may have the tendency to bring up this topic during quarrels n in the end, both side get hurt.

It's pretty pointless.

If there is two girls that you like presently, touch your heart and ask yourself, will you still choose her? And are you able to accept all her flaws forever?

Pls do not torture yourself.

Devil1976 SG

Hmm...