I have been with guy coming a year. He used to by my ex 4 years
ago. We had not been contacting each other for almost 3 years until
last year I heard that he was married.
We were both chatting late into the night one day while we are
drinking on our ends. He told me he has not gotten over me after so
long. I expected it as he was very much deeply in love with me 4
years back. Then I questioned his marriage. He finally admitted
that it was out of responsibility not simply because of settling
down early (an excuse he gave me earlier on). To my horror, he told
me his wife's adultery. Something which he had been keeping from
everybody and not even sharing with his closest buddy. He forgiven
his wife. He wanted to salvage the marriage. Well, I never agree
with his actions totally. His wife claimed that he did not have
time to accompany her. However this young man here is always
working late into the night to earn more money and trying to
provide her with a better future. Seriously I think that his wife
is brainless. Btw, his wife is 2 years older than him.
From the day I was aware of his wife's adultery, I told him he
should not have forgiven his wife and it was really pointless to
carry on this marriage. He would definitely regret should there be
a day he thinks into the past or his wife committed the same
mistake for the second time. I do not know if my reaction was right
or not. My best friend told me I should not be the one to tell him
that else he may think that I wish to be with him. Is she right or
am I wrong? I just got so heated up at that point of time to know
that his wife is "bullying" him this way. She does not deserve him
at all.
One evening, while he was on his way home from work, he called me.
He told me how stupid he was. He should not have forgiven her. He
should have asked her to go. Finally I agreed with him. He decided
to divorce her. We got together a month later after his decision to
divorce her. We were very loving at the beginning. However, things
happened between us.
I became intolerant over his past. I doubted his love for me since
he could marry another woman easily when he had not forgotten me 4
years ago. He told me it was out of responsibility. Something which
I am aware all the while. I really don't understand how he could
have moved on in life with another woman so easily. Is it only
through the strength of another woman or diverting his love for me
onto another woman, then he would be able to move on in life or
getting over me totally? Can't he just do it by his own effort? If
I had not reappeared into his life, would he divorce his wife? How
much does it show when he forgives his wife and asked her back when
she committed that grave mistake? Can I entrust myself onto this
guy who is so soft hearted in a relationship? What if his wife were
to come back one day? I am getting so lost in this relationship. I
am totally faithless.
Should I leave him in search of my own happiness? If there is a day
when we are ready for marriage, how much will I mind? Will I run
away from the big day? He is really nice towards me but his past
keeps haunting me. I don't know how to let go his past and to walk
happily the path ahead of us with him. There's bounce to be
something unpleasant between us every day over his past.
Till now I don't understand the logic of thinking of a man
especially my guy here. What is going through his mind from the
moment he accepted his wife as his gf when we broke up. Btw, they
were together barely 3 months after we broke up. Is it really true
that man can't do without a woman? He doesn't think that being with
her after we broke up is wrong. Only the marriage is a mistake.
However, does not he realize that by accepting another woman into
his life after we broke up reflected a lot of things?
Guys out there. Please analyze the whole thing for me. To let go or
not?