I am the silent, strong and independent type. Have anyone like
my type feel that their emotion being short-circuited? Sometime i
feel so dis-oriented with my own feelings that my head ache...
perhaps my brain was trying to block away all my bad past
experiences with life and trying to tell myself everythings is all
right but nothing is alright at all. i am actually very weak and
soft within.
The more i Try to push those thoughts and images away.. the more my
head feel like in a bottleneck pressure.. all the 'pushing' in the
mind has become automatics cos i have doing it for almost
10years.
I am sad cos i am not affectionate. Too cold, aloof, detached and
most people thought i am stuck-up. I am trying to protect myself
and themselves. Cos i hurt people unknowingly... my past pains that
i can't get over with and has became a part of my own psyche.
i don't feel loved easily or emit simple human warmth or feel there
warmth from people. Some behave the way u behave to them
accordingly.It like a vicious cycle. i am longing for there human
warmth , trying to remember there human warmth feeling.
It is just very hard for me to step out of there zone. To share joy
and happiness with others. Sometime it is all about me cos i keep
thinking about my problems... i just want to get to knw people @ a
deeper basis and people to know me a deeper basis and stop being
serious all the time.
