The fact that you posted here shows you aren't as cold/detached
as you think you are.
You care about what you are feeling and you want to get out of it,
it shows you want to change.
So that's a good start 
You don't
seem to be a bad communicator, and you aren't that far from what
you want.
I'm like you in many ways, I'm a girl and also cannot connect with
people easily, what I am and what people see me as are very
different. So you're not alone. Well the only advice I can give is,
find something that gives you a sense of self-confidence, like
maybe taking long walks, or just doing something that you love the
most, like some activity. Spend time with yourself and learn to
love yourself, because it's pretty hard to come by people who will
understand this kind of situation.
Eventually though you will find some people who will understand you
properly.
So just hang on. You're not alone.
