Hi thanx to everyone who replied
really really appreciate the
effort and kindness behind it
Jus to answer to some of the questions: Im basically a 24 yo
studying in a local institution
. When the July semester starts
(just finished my exams last week), it will be the final year of my
degree course
and probably the final year of my life as a student.
This is partially the reason why I felt the impetus to re-think
my life... itll be a shame to waste this period wallowing in
misery and depression. I know Ill never enjoy the life of being
a student in a campus after I graduate
Enjoy in a paradoxical sense cos I actually enjoyed the routine
of being a student, mixing with people of the same age in a
relatively simple environment (as opposed to working). Sadly, Im
so torn apart by my internal struggle and lack of affection/care
from people whom I actually cared a lot for e.g. my old friends,
the gal I like. Sometimes it feels like Im in a one-sided
relationship, only thing Im not neglected by a lover, but rejected
by the world at large
.
Here are a few questions which I would like some advices:
Should I just try to forget all my problems and enjoy my life
however it turn out?? Like I mentioned, I get along with my
classmates and project members (my course is largely project-based)
in a superficial, friendly way. During the limited hours at school,
Ive a few frens whom I can joke & chat with. Its just that
they are attached and have their own cliques outside sch
so I
routinely feel a fleeting loneliness during the moment immediately
after class ends
Like most weekends & hols, Ive absolutely no one I could look
forward to spend my time with
I plan to work part-time & take
up a course during the coming hols. Its not being alone, but the
reasons behind my isolation which bugs me
am I so worthless that
people are so reluctant to spend time with me? guess its a subtle
but hurting feeling which only loner like myself can identify
with
How should I go about improving my life? Today, I plucked up my
courage to ask 2 different old friends out this week, but they were
apparently not free (its habitual). A few rejections is probably
trivial, but please understand from my loser perspective--- any
setback is devastating cos Ive no emotional support at all, I
just return home to my parents, my room thats all.
I used to (and Still do) think: If i was really "Normal" and "Nice"
like how some of u kind souls and my friends reflected to me, why
do i've to undergo such abnormal and arduous effort just to find
company??
Once again thanx for readin
