How a husband & wife should be with each other is not a
simple matter. Sometimes circumstances conspire in a strange way,
so that wealth or an easy life can actually drive a couple apart,
whereas what looks like a mountain of problems to an outsider can
be the time of greatest happiness that draws the two closer
together.
Unlike the kind of trust that wavers depending on the situation,
true love, in the deepest sense of a bond between two people, is
something that develops in the face of rough seas. But this does
not mean that one partner has to always give in to the other, or
that the happiness of one can be built on the suffering of the
other.
The husband is not the centre of the relationship, nor is the wife.
It is not a question of who is the leader or who must make himself
or herself a sacrifice for the others success & happiness.
Just like a song is a marriage of music & lyrics, husband &
wife are equal individuals who, at the same time, perform a single
melody of life together. What is important, is how beautiful a song
these two life partners can create together.
In order to achieve a deep & harmonious relationship, the two
most important ingredients are a sense of gratitude & a common
goal.
In todays society, perhaps a family could be thought of as an
aeroplane. Buffeted by the winds of change, the two co-pilots have
the responsibility of assuring safe arrival. The stability of an
aeroplane in flight requires clear direction, momentum &
constant effort. And a successful flight requires that the
co-pilots keep the same destination in sight.
One English proverb says: Keep your eyes wide open before marriage
& half shut afterwards. Both husband & wife must try to be
tolerant, & have a big heart which forgives minor faults &
mistakes by the other. If you are being constantly scrutinized
& criticized, you will not feel like trying to change, even of
you know that what has been pointed is out true.
Love takes a thousand different forms. Sometimes the husband may
appear to be impossibly domineering to outsiders; yet a couple
manages to get along with a surprising degree of harmony. On the
other hand, there are cases where the wife seems to have her way in
everything, but still an atmosphere of peace prevails. It is not,
in fact, the outward appearance that matters. When a couple has
shared the joys & sorrows of life over a long period of time, a
deep tie develops between them that cannot be severed by outside
forces. This is not the kind of open, direct love we might see
amongst young couples. It is something broad & deep, a sense of
shared destiny.
There are couples who seem to possess this power. You will find
such couples of the tedious, whining talk of some old people. And,
although many of them have not lived easy lives, there is no gloom
in their expressions. You will find only the sense of deep
self-sufficiency that come when two people have successfully made
their way over lifes rough places together. Along with an
appreciation of the preciousness of their remaining time
together.
