i was out with friends last night at a house party when i got a
sms from an ex boyfriend of mine that i havent talked to for about
3 months,because he cheated on me with a good friend of mine! i was
so shocked,he was asking if he could pick me up in his car so we
could go for a drive and talk.now this is a guy that i was with for
6 months,and we lived together.so i still care about him a lot even
though he hurt me so much! i didnt know what to say,so i just said
yes.whats the worst that could happen,we have an arguement and he
drops me home?! so he picked me up,and we went to a place near an
industrial power station where we always used to go to make out
before we got together.i was a bit shocked that he took me
there,but i kept quite.we started talking,and we sorted a lot of
things out,issues that we had with each other since we broke
up.that was good,it made me feel so much better than i did.but
then.....he asked me for a hug,and i gave him one,cause i care
about him heaps still(i used to love him with all my heart,i cared
about him more than i cared about half of my own family!!!)but then
he kissed me......and i didnt stop him!! it didnt end there.....but
i dont regret it now......but im so confused about what to
think...........i know that we could never be together again,as
there is just too much pain between us,from my side.he hurt we way
too much for me to ever get back with him,but i cant help caring
about him,i would still do anything for him.and i know he would
help me if i ever needed it.but i dont know what to do now......i
dont want to let myself start to want him again,cause i know i'll
just get hurt badly again.but i cant resist him,and when i was with
him,that was the happiest that i've ever been!honestly......since
i've broken up with him,im a completely different person than i
used to be.........i miss the old me.....everyone i know misses the
old me too....but i dont know what to do about it.......i though i
really wanted someone else.......i do really want him,but now that
my ex has come back into my life,im not so sure!i am so confused,i
cant even think straight...... 
