While everyone is free to fall in love or be attracted to
someone, & no one has the right to meddle in your private
affairs, it is also important not to lose sight of pursuing your
own personal development. There are of course no rules on love
& marriage, & no one has the right to restrict you in any
way. It is sad to see young people getting involved in frivolous
relationships, & suffering & agonizing over them when they
should be fulfilled & happy.
When women act with dignity in relationships, problems can be
avoided. Women should not have an easy-going, careless attitude
concerning love, as this may lead to regrets & suffering.
Love should be a force that helps us expand our lives & bring
out our potential with fresh vitality. This is the ideal, but all
too often, people lose all objectivity when they fall in
love.
The question is Does this person inspire you to work harder, or
distract you from what you have to do? Does their presence make you
more determined to devote great energies to your activities, to be
a better person? Do they inspire you to realize your future goals
& work towards them? Or is that person your central focus,
overshadowing everything else?
If you find that you are neglecting things you should be doing,
forgetting your purpose in life because of the relationship you are
in, then you might be on the wrong path. A healthy relationship, is
one in which two people encourage each other to reach their
respective goals, while sharing each others hopes & dreams. A
relationship should be a source of inspiration, invigoration &
hope.
Rather than becoming so love-struck that you create a world in
which only the two of you exist, it is much healthier to learn from
those aspects of your loved one that you respect & admire,
& continue to make efforts to improve & develop yourself.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery, the author of The Little Prince, once wrote, Love
is not two people gazing at each other, but two people looking
ahead together in the same direction.
Happiness is not something that anyone else, not even a lover, can
give you. You have to achieve it by yourself. And, the only way to
do so is by maximizing your potential. If you sacrifice your own
growth & talent for love, you absolutely will not find
happiness.
Particularly young women who are often very vulnerable to
persuasion by young men. They can sometimes act as if they are
stunned & lose their ability to make calm, rational decisions.
Since young women are the ones who most often get hurt, they have
every right to assert their dignity & look after their own
welfare.
It is precisely for this reason that is it important for young
women to develop inner strength & self-respect.
It is demaning to be constantly seeking approval. If you find
yourself in a relationship where you are not treated the way your
heart tells you you should be, I hope you will have the courage
& dignity to decide you are better off running the risk of
being alone for the time being rather than enduring an unhappy
relationship.
Real love is not two people clinging to each other; it can only be
fostered between two strong people secure in their individuality. A
shallow person will only have shallow relationships. If you want to
experience real love, it is important first to develop a strong
self-identity. True love is not about doing whatever the other
person wants you to do, or pretending that you are something you
are not. Ideal love is fostered only between two sincere, mature
& independent people.
