Originally posted by M©+square:
Hmm...
Quote frm evolution M© on Self Destruction .ver 2.2.
Humans are unique, we have this special ability to decieve
ourselves to believe what we want to believe.
No, i'm not kidding no one. Humans are inevitablely enslaved to
this ability. The space between emotions and logic.
First of all i like to quote, i didn't deceived myself.
For those who do not understand, i did lots of things trying to
move on from the initial stage of singlehood after the break
up.
I actually party with friends like mad, hang out with buddies have
fun, join in friend's sunset bay, even took up some lessons to keep
myself busy.
But sad to said, after 2 years of tiring schedules. I found myself
at time missing "him".
In my heart i knew he would never return, with a mixture of feeling
between hatred and missing. Somehow i felt i am lost
somewhere.
I have tried to date but somehow somewhere in the dating part i
just feel that it lacks of certain feels. I am questioning myself
if the lacks of my feels was due to "him" or it's just the person i
am dating isn't someone i am truely looking at ?
2nd date: somehow something he ring the bells of 'him' which freak
me out. Don't ask me why i am freak out of "him" because i don't
have an answer myself. Likewise friends are puzzles with my
behaviors, asking the same old questions i shouldn't be feeling
freak out because i should be feeling more hatred then freaking and
scaring of him.
Right now, dating and love remind me of committments and the big
roles of being someone wife and daughter-in-law. Being in these
roles only remind me of the pains, miserable and suffer of endless
jealousy and quarrels man given to me during my last
relationship.
I hate my past, i wanna move on.
(Smiling face of mine, hidden streak of
sorrow within) 
