just had your bday celebration, and back to work in counselling?
Happi Bday!.. 
because you felt guilty towards your friend, as such, you feel
negative about yourself. However, i am not too sure on your current
state, because i dont know how close you are to your friends. If
you are only 14 years old, i am sure such things shouldnt affect
you that much, unless your relationship to your fren isnt as simple
as friendship..
You mentioned that because of that incident, 2 other friends have
ostracized you too right? Am i right to assume that now in school,
you do not have friends and anyone to talk to? You lost your 3 best
friends, so you felt lonelines.
Under what circumstances do you feel like crying? Enlighten us abit
on details if you need some help here..
Try opening up yourself to others, talk to people so that you will
not feel lonely. Take up some activities to make yourself
busier.
Most people do not know that family members are best to talk to if
you need someone to talk. try talking to them about your feelings
or problems first. Seeking help from psychiatrist may be an opinion
when you think that you cannot control your own feelings. Nobody is
too young or old to seek help
BTW, you said you wanted to suicide? This is actually quite
serious. I suggest you talk to school counsellors first if you feel
that your family members cant help you... Do it quick dude...
