Im quite lost, and I try my best to get my message and query
across. I dont expect to have too much return questions, but would
be glad to see some advice or solution here.
I have a foreign wife from HK and a 18mth-old son born in SG. MY
wife, a PR, has been staying in SG for the about 3 years.
Occasionally, returns to HK for short trip from 2 wks to a month.
She is a housewife and has never worked, since she is in SG.
Im the only one who brings in the household income, and it has
been tough throughout the years. Im afraid will the situation and
pressure will get tougher as the year goes by. I do not have high
income, though Im taking care of my family. Financially is just
enough in a family, with some saving for my sons education. I feel
so lucky that my old flat was inherited from my parent; therefore,
I no need to pay monthly montage. We have the intention to buy a
new bigger flat in near future, but I have a concern that
potentially boiling up, as time flies. It affects my relationship,
my son growth development, my possession and my
responsibility.
I have ask my wife to look for a simple job with low
responsibility, however, my wife cannot accept the fact of SG
low-wages works and is not been willing work. I have explain to her
that the purpose may not necessarily to be high paid, but to get
some exposure to SG society, widen circle of life, develop a sense
of belonging and commitment in the family. Beside this, I did
explain that it also help to rid out idleness and stagnant life in
SG. Yet, she still doesnt understand and insist to be a housewife,
and take care of my son.
I have never object to her as being a housewife and caring my son
full-time, and I do thank her for that help too. But if she going
to remain in this status, Im afraid that we are not able to
move-on further with a common goal.
She is active and vibrant, but stubbornness and arrogant attitude
has developed since young, while living in HK. So her expectation
has been high. Living in a fast-pace environment, it is foresee
that she may end-up to become those 'Singapore aunties and
housewives' whose ages between 45 to 65.
-- 1st concern, my wife
How can I change her negative attitude, and make her to have a
sense of belonging and responsibility in SG? I need her to work and
provide some financial support eventually.
--> 2nd concern, my son
She has spend most of her time caring my son, thus, it has create a
strong bonding and possession to her. She has never trust anyone to
take care of my son, not even my brothers' family or even for a few
hours not seeing my son. As any children look towards their parents
as leaders and living-examples in life, and Im afraid that her
stubbornness and arrogant attitude may instill to my son when he
grow up. Unknowingly, this negative attitude may repeat, like say,
20 years later. How should I avoid this negative development to my
child? Im bearing the responsibility to educate my son well.
-- 3rd concern, the future
The message now has not been getting into her. So the slower she is
reacting to environment changes, the slower we may not be able to
move-on to a new flat. As a matter of fact, her pride and resistant
may develop into impulsive acts. Such as divorce, return to HK with
my son and not looking back. Do understand that HK is her homeland,
meaning a place where she feels lots of confidence and comfortable.
How can I secure my future.
Pls help and advise.
