Helping our men of the post feminist era

CynthiaLady SG

are men failing miserably in this post-feminist world? is the future of the both male and female species in danger?
and are women really to blame?
we should all be concerned
Over dinner with my friends .The conversation suddenly turned serious. I found myself embroiled in a heated discussion about,
of all things, the problems facing men in our
post-feminist world (I wondered was I hearing things).
The problems suffered by men and women. It seems to me the faliing birth
rates in singapore has something to do with the harmful effects of feminism.
Decent men and as well as women are suffer. As we know today's men are a generation raised by the independent women.
And as a result they didnt have proper role models of both female and male resulting in dysfunctional families

A highly functional family is important for the welfare of future generations and population growth.

(b) Today there are too many dysfunctional families and thus dysfunctional kids.

(c) Today's men need to find a new but satisfactory role, different from that of the last century. This is not well defined by males or females. There exist specific negative attitudes, ideas and omissions inimical to a successful quest for any such role

(d) Those men who are able: are not speaking up concerning male matters
(e) Women (those we hear and read) are not helping by concentrating more on their own needs and the shortcomings of men rather than being constructive in the search for (a) & (c) above

Feminism has achieved much for women, but why did this have to be at the cost of men. Because it is not kept in check, it begins to exert its harmful effects.The women's charter is not helping us women as well. Instead of feminism and women's charter ridding women's lives off evil and ills, it has become a tool of greed and capitalism or power.
it is no use that females complain about men marring foreign wives local women are too demanding. They are fair too just like us women who dont want to marry a abusive man.
In due time we need to address this issue fast and clear before we have a national population crisis.

Cynthia.

Pitot SG

Not only this la.. Human Geography.
More developed countries birth rate are all low.
Not only Singapore, Japan and Switzerland and alot more......
We term this as aging population.

dokono SG

it's great to hear a woman to hear the negative effects, for once at least. Thank you very much for addressing the concerns even though it may be a lone voice. It shows courage that something needs to be done for our society in general.

Females do not want an abusive man but there are still cases when the abusive man is the man she likes! Women do not like nice guys? Of cos not all!

Men complaining that women are too demanding. Well, it maybe true but since women are much more independent now that they have more choices, right?

Well it's going to be very difficult to change because the future is going to be such that women will be more free to exercise freedom and choices.

CynthiaLady SG

yes..exactly...shows very clearly that feminist laws are not helping anyone.exactly it is unwanted inmodern times. Men are raised by women are have already benefitted from the femnisit movement. that means these men wer ebetter able to respect women and accomodate to them than men few hundred years ago
Then why stil have these laws around?

CynthiaLady SG

like everything else, when left unchecked, these laws grow to a bloated level crushing everybody around it

CynthiaLady SG

Yes dokono, i understand the men. Men will always downmarry. their biological nature is such. Of course there are men who dont mind marrying a woman earning a hihger income and education, if she is a good wife and does not give problems.. The point is women need to accomodate these men. Men will not mind many things really. The problem lies mostly with women and their egos

CynthiaLady SG

seems men are becoming victims today dragging the women down along with them. Femnist laws meant to help women are now dragging down both sexes…quite sad..in out rimes we live in, it is absolutely illogical and senseless to follow laws that were pushed about 50 years ago. ther times and society were different from what we live in today.

dokono SG

Yes it is rare for a woman like u to speak up for men. Some women will not admit they are choosy and wants to control in a r/s. Yes men have egos but when it comes to women their egos are manipulated by beautiful women or women that men consider beautiful.

Now my point is: it's not that women are mostly at fault. There are women like u who really are accomadating and supportive as a wife or a girlfriend. I hope there are more women like u so there's hope for men. Men also need to see what they have done wrong themselves.

Although feminist laws are such that women have much more power now and may have actually created more problems than intended, men still have power and will always have.

curiousOrange SG

I think it's safe to say that as long as humans still enjoy fcuking, there will be no population crisis.

The issues you mentioned are more an issue of urbanization and industrialization in societies rather than an issue of feminism.

As economies expand, we are exposed to more material needs.

Expectations naturally increased.

Men spent most of our time slogging to meet these material expectations and forgot about other aspects of a relationship that requires nurturing.

They forgot about creating romance and passion.

Therefore, if you are thinking along the lines of how keeping feminism in check can result in less broken families and less men marrying from abroad, that will not happen

Because you did not address the root of the problem:

Primal expectations from women that are not met at the moment.

What can men do? A man needs to learn three things in his life:

Learn to be a man of reason.

Learn to be a man of principles.

Meditate to understand love and acceptance.

And all the three lessons will be revealed to the man over his lifetime.

Pain comes along with them. Endure the pain rather than avoid it.

Sometimes humans are obsessed with trying to fix things and ended up making themselves worse off.

The only variable in life you can have total control over is yourself.

ubermagicseller SG

So will you marry me?

ShrodingersCat SG

Originally posted by curiousOrange:

The issues you mentioned are [b]more an issue of urbanization and industrialization in societies rather than an issue of feminism.

As economies expand, we are exposed to more material needs.

Expectations naturally increased.

The only variable in life you can have total control over is yourself.
[/b]

Agreed. It's got nothing to do with man/women or feminism/chauvinism, but how in our very competitive, material society, a person as an individual can have the freedom to be himself/herself without being swept away by societal's demands on norms, and AT the same time, without becoming a burden to society by still being able to contribute.

We live in a contradictory society that prizes technology, improvementsm, change and modernity above all, and yet view our past through rose tinted glasses and nostalgia. The relationships between men and women has changed because the relationships between men and society AND women and society has changed.

Stable relationships can be built with mature expectations (cos to expect NO expectations is a HUGE expectation), and romance can still flourish in a realistic down-to-earth environment. Ultimately, its the individual's choice to not become captive to cynicism.

kopiosatu SG

*clap clap clap*

steady la.

no sarcasm intended

le cruz SG

Really smart women will know that as long they respect their men, things will be fine. Of course men have to love and respect the women in their lives, and all women in general. It's got to be reciprocal.

The problem is that sometimes women carry their ego in the workplace back into their own homes and private lives. Same for men. When ego increases, humility and respect decreases. And all relationships (romance, parent-child, siblings, friendship) can't work without mutual respect.

The problem is PRIDE. When pride overrides love, then you have a problem.

So if men need to know three things as stated above, women need to know only one thing:

Respect the man. And you will be so much easier to love, and romance and understanding and all that will follow in tandem.

Men appreciate it when our women help to bring home the bacon also so we can build a comfortable home together. Whatever expectations you might have, we dearly want to fulfill them. Help us by being supportive.

M©+square SG

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