I have been seeing this patient of mine for over 6 months now. I
dono if i am in love with him or not. about 7 months ago, he came
to me to ask for my help regarding his life long relationship woes
which has left him in an utter mood slump in which he feels he has
no way to overcome. Thus he came to me. Im a psycologist and im
running my own practice. He comes at our appointed time every
tuesday and friday in the afternoon.
Two months ago while he was consulting me over his fears of his
previous relationship with this lady called Jennifer, i suddely
felt a rush of anxiety to know more yet a certain part of me wanted
to withhold my hunger to know or pry deeper into the situation. I
wanted to keep it as a mutual thing between a doctor and a patient
but his story touched me so much i could not sit in my chair and
overhear anymore. I did the most unprofessional thing and i patted
him on the forehead. That was how this whole thing started. I got
too close and crossed my lines. After the consultation he
immediately called my secretary and told her that it is urgernt
that he spoke to me. When i was available after awhile, i called
him back out of concern for my patient's wellbeing. To my surprise,
he asked me out for a coffee and for a chat. As friends he said. I
know that it isnt ethical of me to do so but i did anyways. We both
felt at that time that it would be platonic. We made out in the car
after the drink. I felt to cheap but yet i felt that luke warm
emotions brewing inside of me.
He kept visiting me as per normal from that day on. every friday,
every tuesday. We never uttered a word of that moment in the car.
It was strictly back to doctor and patient relationship.
Yesterday, it was valentines day. He presented himself to me with a
bouquet of roses and a card that stated how he felt about me. It is
probably going too far... should i stop? If i continue, will it
just be a fling? Will my reputation as a psycologist, as a
professional be soiled? what if he is just using me for pleasure?
what if his fear and hatred for women has turned him towards me. A
form of revenge? Im really worried... because if he really had
feelings for me, he would have at least just mentioned about that
night in the car wouldnt he? but he didnt...so what is it truely?
im am feeling so frustrated!
