Am I expecting too much???

Ariel_Ong SG

Hi I am new here,seeking some advise,hope you guys are able to shed some lights.My bf & I are together for close to 1yr & we are planning our marriage soon..or rather I am e one who is making all those arrangements while he is just following,not showing much concern.As e time is nearer,I find myself having doubts of really spending my entire life with him.Dun get me wrong,he is definitely a nice guy but somehow I can never be compared to his PC,his forums,his online games etc.Initially during wooing period,he can make e effort to meet me everyday & wait til e last bus to go hm & we’d call & chat with each other throughout e day til morning,seems like there are endless topics.But now he feels tat seeing me too much,I am too “Sticky” & he does not have enuf personal time.He gets irritated easily & always tells me not to call him too often.But when we meet up during e weekends he is as normal as any other gals’ bf.All these are making me confused..makes me ponder in e long run,will things work?Will he neglect me(as he is doing now)even when we have a home of our own.Will he find facing me everyday very tiring etc.He is sometimes enthusiams as me when discussing abt marriage,sometimes giving a heck care attutide.Our “suppose” ROM is approaching in a few more mths & I really @ a loss of what to do..Am I expecting too much?Hope you guys are able to give me some advise.

BrUtUs SG

how old is he? u cant expect things to be the same everyday from day one... usual after some while relationship gets slack and he will tend to return back to his old pastimes... but since u feel that way jz talk to him about it first but expect to make compromise cos a change in the relationship might happen... even though both of u are couple u still need personal space for yourself n friends so jz take it as it is... really,i feel both of u need more time to understand each other b4 talking abt marriage again... and i tink u should refresh your mind on y u love him till want to ROM b4 n y u2 still together now... oso tink abt would u still want to be him if he continue like that...?

browniebaobao SG

maybe it's already a habit that he's with u ba?

wat can be the reason when a man is not interested in his marriage?

maybe he dun really know whether marriage is what he wants.

Ariel_Ong SG

he is 29 & I am 25.I tried to tel him abt him neglecting me becos of his PC & he’d show some improvement..for a few weeks b4 he went back to his habits again..he says its his passion while I feel its an obession.Tats oso y I am starting to think if things will last.b4 this,I am full of confident of our marriage..this is e 1st time I plan a future with someone.Duno if you ever come across such a feeling,like you know he is “e one” for you,I ask myself if I can live with him spending so much time with his PC & I have yet to find an ans..are guys like this?PC is like his life,something that he’d miss if away for too long,unable to check his email,reply his forum,playing his fav soccer game etc…I admit I am a gal who enjoys attention,in a sense that I like my guy to accompany me but not any other guy,just oni e guy I am involve now & deeply in love with.This is e 1st time I am so sure of my feelings but not sure if I can live with his habits.Isn’t love blind??thought pple are always saying when you love someone you tends to overlook his weakness/bad habits etc..Y do I mind so much?Anyone facing e same situation???

kopiosatu SG

what kind of hobby is a PC???

Ariel_Ong SG

What do you mean?

kopiosatu SG

how can a PC take up so much of his life... unless he's a sgForums mod Laughing

Ariel_Ong SG

He joins Mmm...spug..something..oso a forum but there are topics on anything & everything abt computers..

kopiosatu SG

hmmmm well common sense would say "talk to him about it"

but we all know that most men can't "talk about problems" like women

the way i see it, it either you accept the pc or he has to accept you knowing that you're against the pc.

strikefreedom SG

http://www.singaporebrides.com/cgi-bin/forumboard/discus.cgi

maybe you want to surf this website because i remember i came across issue with hubby/bf sticking to their computer like ur bf. anyway since you are preparing ur wedding, it a good site for wedding info too. Mr. Green

nuchio SG

i think you should wait a little longer to really know and accept him before marrying.

seems like he is not ready for marriage and you are not so sure about him either.

what then is the hurry?

dont marry for the sake of marrying.

kopiosatu SG

to me, at this stage... i think getting married is a bad idea.

but if you two really love each other... hmmm no one has any say Cool

Manager433 SG

Think carefully if you wants to be with him forever. Don’t regret it after you both ROM.

hopy SG

put it tt way.. @ least his passion is pc and not gambling?

if u luv a person, accept all of him, dun try to change him or think tt marriage will change him, if there's going to be any change, it will only be for the worst..

its precisely due to his flaw tt he cannot find someone better then u..

so after all these, u hv to ask urself, can u live w/ tt?

101wish SG

Well, i guess the "honeymoon" period has over? I think most guys did the same stuffs u have mentioned --> computers and games. As for ROM, perhaps he needs more time to re-adjust his life, getting married means he's sort of moving him into a "jail" or something. Check up with him, dun worry Wink

hopy SG

pls lor.. there's no such thing called 'honeymoon' period de lor

for a successful marriage, romance shld be injected into it everynow n then de lor.. Rolling Eyes

hyperactivechatterbox SG

I agree; I think you guys should wait for a whle longer…

ghimpheng SG

you are not expecting too much.your regular interaction with him irriates him as mention in the post "he told u not to call him" this clearly show his furstration with you and u expect this guy to live with u the rest of your life ? and he even treat computers over you ? this is totally crap even though he might be a nice guy

CannyOng SG

Yes...I fully agreed! Since I know my gf,I have not touch my favourite past-time of making military models for 1 yr liao! She become my passion and hobby liao,LOL!!

qooorange SG

i think ur guy can find somebody else who appreciates him more. for heaven's sake, at least he is involve in some decent activities and not two-timing behind your back.. yet u are jealous of a non-animated object