just to share with you. i also ve this experience b4.. not once,
not twice but three times.... I can still remember the fear and
apprehension when i was waiting for her outside the toilet after
buying the test kit.
We dated very long b4 we got married. when we first started doing
it. i just started working and she in uni final year.... so
marriage is out of the question...or at least very difficult... but
we already plan to marry each other when the time is right.
but it sort of happened .... actually we dated for like close to 3
years b4 we did it, although b4 that we did everything short of
doing it b4 that.
the delay is mainly because we wanted to wait for marriage. anyway,
after a while we sort of surrendered and just do it. not just me
but her also. since we are going to get married anyway what is the
pt on holding back...?
Anyway, once we started we cannot stop. every week will do at least
once.... just use withdrawal method... With each scare, we tell
ouselves to stop or otherwise use rubber.....
but we don't like sensation of rubber.. not just me, her also... so
we just use the withdrawal method ONLY.
and with each scare we stop for about 2 to 3 weeks before resuming
from 3rd week onwards.... it is almost impossible to stop i think
for ppl... esp when you love the other party. i think it is wired
into our genes
and we finally got married.... so now no more scare already... we
don't want kids yet , but if got kid we are fine with it
also.
Just want to share... it is not easy to stop. and for those in
which their r/s is "spoiled" because of this issue, it means that
the r/s is not steady yet or it is already flawed... i think for
two matured adults sincere about each other.. the above is not
really a issue...
but then having a baby when not ready is really a very serious
issue. so don't take it lightly.
on hindsight, i am very very glad we didn't hit the jackpot when we
are unmarried.... but i am glad that we did it... sxx strengthed
our r/s and whatever ppl say, sxx outside of marriage with someone
you love is different from sxx within marriage.... so I am glad
that I can share both experience with the one that I love.
If we had hit the jackpot, it probably meant that we have to get
married suddenly and also a bit of accusing fingers by relatives
and caring for the kid when young.... but i think overall we would
still be married... so that wouldn't be much different just the
order or things are a bit jumbled up.
So don't blame pre marital sxx as the issue when r/s turns sour or
if things didn't work out. it is prob issues outside of sxx that
cause r/s to crack/break.
btw, i read somewhere that although pre- c um contains semen, they
are inactive (basically died), so the withdrawal method is actually
effective IF the guy managed to control and pull out EACH
time.
But of course to control is not easy.. esp for younger men. do some
reseach on the web....
This isn't highly publised. i guess it is not responsible to
publicize and a lot of this kind of "studies" are generated by
those condom manufacturiers and those who are anti HIV.
