Originally posted by M©+square:
[b]How you can help if you know someone who's
suicidal?
Possibly you're aware that someone you know is thinking of killing
themselves. They've talked about it. They've confided in you. More
likely, you're not aware. They're putting out the signals, but you
haven't spotted them yet.
So what should you look for? Typically, a person is
low, tearful, irritable. Or their eating patterns change, their
sleep patterns are disturbed, they're taking less care of
themselves, they're exhausted.
Another key could be their situation. There'll usually be some
event that's triggered this withdrawal. Loss is a key one - losing
a job, losing a partner, bereavement, a major disappointment or
illness. If the person has a history of suicide attempts, then you
should take it extra seriously.
What you will feel
The first thing you'll feel if you realise someone is suicidal is
panic. It's natural - you want to get it right; you want to save
them, you want to help them. You may also get confused. Are you
seeing what you think you're seeing?
What should you do or not do? Here are some common beliefs about
suicide - and the truth behind them.
1. If a person talks about suicide, they won't do it: Wrong.
Talking about problems will make people less likely to kill
themselves. But it doesn't mean they definitely won't attempt
suicide.
2. If you mention suicide, you will put the idea in a person's
head. Wrong again. Mentioning it will allow them to talk about it
and so ease the possibility. But you won't do any harm at all by
asking.
3. People who think about suicide just want attention. Wrong. They
typically want to stop pain - their own or other people's. And
typically they only think about suicide because they can't think of
another way out. Offer them help and the desire to die will
fade.
What you can do
The first thing to do if you suspect someone's suicidal is simply
to listen.
Once they begin to talk, they will begin to feel understood. Once
they feel understood, they'll regain a slight glimmer of hope that
there may be a solution to their problem - and they'll feel less
suicidal.
The second thing to do is to get help. Don't try to cope alone. Get
the person talking to family, to friends, to their GP who can help
with medication, to a counsellor who can help with emotional
support. Get them to phone the Samaritans (or, phone the Samaritans
yourself); they will ring the person and give them support.
The more people you get involved in supporting the suicidal person,
the better. You must assume the person's problem to be very big, or
they wouldn't feel so desperate. It will probably take a lot of
resources to sort it out, but you should strive on.
PS: If you're helping a suicidal person, you should
try and get help yourself to avoid becoming stressed. Suicide is a
very straining issue.
Click on this thread
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=75218
to get professional help.[/b]
Totally agree with you.
But let me quote a personal experience. Sometimes it's not just
about the things they say. There are two kind of suicidal types.
One, they know they are sucidial and seeks help by talking to
someone about it. Two, they know they are sucidial and are bent on
seeking death. Usually these type of people are keep quiet of their
tots but not without signs.
I've got a friend, she usually are the quiet type of person and
doesn't engage much into outdoor activities. We've come to know
that she's facing some family problems but she always seemed to us
that she's coping well with it and does talk about it to some
closer friends and we find nothing amiss.
Just about two weeks before she commit suicide, her behaviour
starts to change. She becomes more chatty, more cheerful and
initiate to date friends out for movies and even to EC to cycle and
canoe. Things she seldom do, she suddenly show immerse interest in
it. It came as a bit shock to her friends but we all thought that
probably her family problems are mostly solved and she's feeling
less stress about it.
It was till the fateful day when we recieve the news that she had
commit suicide that we realised that for the past weeks, death has
been on her mind and she had planned it since then and all the
going out and all the enjoyments are her way of celebrating her
last days and she knew that soon she'll be freed from all the
problems. In her suicide note, she mention that she felt relieved
when she makes this decision and she can finally enjoy her last
moments without having to worry about anything else.
I did sense something wrong but quick to pushed that aside cause
she seemed really happy. It never occure to any of us that she's
celebrating.
