Dear Skiturn,
I really admire you for having the courage to forgive your gf. It
was most definitely Not easy on you. If your gf was repentant,
perhaps it would've been easier for you to recover from the blow.
Right now, the pain is still raw, & I don't blame you for the
fact that you're Not having an easy time. Now to answer your
questions:
1. She may Not have an easy time letting go, given that she'd
developed feelings for him as well. However, she should protect
your feelings by Not talking so much about him in front of you.
Unless the both of you have an agreement whereby she'll turn to you
when she thinks of him, & seeks your help, she should protect
your feelings. Let her know how you feel.
2. It's difficult for you, since the pain is still raw, & it IS
a fact that your trust was betrayed. However, understand that she's
human, & humans make mistakes. If she loves you enough, she'll
be trying to make amends to you. You can help by being easy on her
whenever you can see her effort in trying to make you happy again.
The onus is on her to rebuild YOUR trust. Let her make the effort.
But on your part, you'll have to learn to forgive & accept that
whilst a mistake happened, as long as she doesn't do it again, let
it go.
3. See above.
4. I can honestly tell you from personal experience (Not me lah,
some people I know, whose names I hafta protect with due respect
for their privacy) that if she's really sincere, she'll Not cheat
on you with that guy again, No matter their proximity. Have a
friend who cheated on her husband when he was away, & she was
very lonely. She confessed to her husband after, & although her
husband was shattered, he forgave her. She sits right next to her
colleague in the office! And Not once did she have anything to do
with that colleague outside from work again. Today, their marriage
is intact.
5. I don't know how to answer this question, since your
relationship details are between both of you. However, you can let
her know about your insecurities since she's Not fulfilling her
promises, & you find it difficult to believe that she loves
you. If she loves you enough, as I said above, she'll want to make
amends.
Remember: You may be hurting, but that doesn't mean you hafta drum
it into her day & night that she's betrayed your trust. Let her
know that you won't bring it up, but she'll hafta listen if you're
feeling insecure & do things to reassure you if she wants the
relationship to work as much as you do.
FeowFeow
