Avoid the girl?

last SG · 2005-12-20T11:45:52+00:00

Oh well.. I would like to tell you to just let your heart guide you and give LOVE the place it REALLY DESERVES... But the TRUTH is, sometimes it comes with...

Mabo SG

What will you do if you don't want fall deeply towards the feeling to a ger. As we always go out as a group, do u guys think that I shld avoid going out with them, block her from the msn, dont give her a lift when going home as I always send her home? Pls give some advices.

FeowFeow SG

May I know what you're trying to say?

I really can't understand Confused

FeowFeow

maggiemee SG

i believe maybe is cos the guy is trying to stop himself frm falling in love with the gal due to some difficulties or particular reason bah............maybe this is wat he means bt dun understand the reason behind it need him to further explain more........... Very Happy

alwaysdisturbed SG

i guess u r beginnin to feel something for her izzit?
avoidance is the best medicine in dis case to prevent urself frm fallin further assumin my previous statement is true.

FeowFeow SG

Oh, thanks Mr. Green

FeowFeow

Mabo SG

Thank you so much. Yes, due to some reasons(her family problem). So, I want hear some advices as I think that I cant control my feeling for her if this things keep going on. But we are a group of friends who always go out for drinking, movies, etc. Think she also have some feeling for me. Shld I avoid?

de_middle SG

Well technically to avoid is the best way to relieve the situation. I did the same thing too but you must be sure that she may be offended in due course coz that's what happened to me.

Now she's gone for good coz i missed her calls & not replying to sms for too many times & not stating the reason. They will want to know the reason for your avoidance later on but are you planning to reveal? If not, prepare for this friendship/relationship/attraction to end.

FeowFeow SG

Well, I wouldn't say completely avoid her like the plague, but perhaps you could excuse yourself from some of the outings? Take the time to control your feelings 1st before you get close to her again?

Unless you're sure you're prepared to help her through her family problems, otherwise it may be best for you to steer clear...

FeowFeow

Mabo SG

When we chat in msn. she will tell me a lot of her things, family problem like husband/kids. But when we go out as a group it totally different. She will act as if nothing. So can anyone explain to to me why because it very quite common as i encounter a few cases. People have a lot of things to say in msn but when come to face to face. It seems that people will act like nothing to say.

DriftingGuy SG

er.. husband and kids? Dude this is a married woman right? Rolling Eyes

Mabo SG

Ya. In the process of divorce.

falling_stars SG

that's becux in the cyber world everything is hidden behind the mask of the monitor... that's how she was able to bare her heart to you...

so is it becux of her family background that's making you wanna avoid her??

Mabo SG

As what FeowFeow had say "Unless you're sure you're prepared to help her through her family problems, otherwise it may be best for you to steer clear... "
I am not prepared. But i afraid if this continue i will fall in with her cos we too close.

MetalGear SG

U know the problem, u know the solution... Stay away from her since you know you might fall for her. Whatsmore, she going thru divorce herself. Are you in a r/s or married or single?

Be cordial, friendly... Can offer some simple advice small talk. But don't get too personal. You might really want to stay off the msn talk... Be more on away mode.. reply to her less.. slower, less words

Only when this mess is over and she is more stable.. you might want to resume your warm friendship with her.

I tell u man, when women go thru breakup/divorce... any other guy is like Brad Pitt compared to her present one. It's nice to be treated so well, that women are willing to talk to us deeply n share so much, but SO fast. It's called on the rebound.

A divorce is sure messy, no point making it any messier by getting involved.

=)

browniebaobao SG

so u are avoiding her bcos she is married liao?

but u do have some feelings for her?

BrUtUs SG

avoid feeling also no need to do all this actions... just have self control can liao... or leave the goup as a whole... no need to make yourself look bad...

Mabo SG

I am single. I have to admit tat i have some feeling for her but feeling n love is different. Her kids is 6 years old liao. What if i confess but she only treat me as a good friend. There is one time tat she is drunk tat i have to take care of her at my place.

browniebaobao SG

u are not encouraged to confess to her..

she's already married.. if u think that she is misleading u or what, let her know ba.

u mean u like to confess to her but fear that she will reject u?

hmm.. dun interrupt her life ba.. she has a family of her own liao..

awt kind of feeling is that? infatuation? lust? like?

Mabo SG

My feeling for her is like. Tat y i have been asking if i shld avoid her.

FeowFeow SG

HUSBAND?! Shocked KIDS?! Shocked

Let me say this before I continue STEER CLEAR FROM FEELINGS!!!!!!! You're risking heartbreak if you continue to sink deeper into your crush Confused

Now I'll address your other issue, about how she's very close to you online, but acts indifferent to you in person. Online, we are all protected by a screen, & there's a sense of anonymity, & distance (i.e. I talk to you, but I'm Not telling you face to face, so it's less intimidating or confronting, especially for people who're shy.

Seeing you face to face brings 2 different issues into the picture, the 1st being that she's disclosing her true identity for the 1st time. You see her face, & in a way, the sense of privacy is shattered (for lack of a better word, but Not so drama mama). 2ndly, she's seeing YOU for the 1st time, i.e. now she can put a face to that faceless individual she has been talking to.

Even after you've met, she may be so used to that cyber realm whereby there's No face attached to the person she's talking to, that she'll continue the same routine of talking to you online, but treating you indifferently in person.

Throw into the above mix, her marriage, husband & kids, & perhaps that may also explain her indifference towards you. She might also be trying to prevent herself from falling for you in person? There're some who think an internet affair doesn't count because it's Not in reality. Who really understands the human mind?

FeowFeow