Dear Laosu,
When somebody has loved the way you have, & struggled the way
you have, you're bound to feel mentally & emotionally drained.
Running away seems the best solution. Some may tell you, you can
run but you can't hide. That's true. However, it doesn't hurt to
drop that burden for awhile & Not face it, & allow your
heart & mind to heal & face it later.
Why don't you go for a holiday or something?
FeowFeow