Studies or Work?

ellisbeck SG

Nothing is absolute - that's what I always believe. Hence, no decision is a perfectly good decision anyway.

Firstly, follow what your heart tells you. Honestly, I am for the idea that you get a job and help with the family first. You will still get to move on with life. Suggesting this because I sensed that this seems a better option for you.

BUT it is important that you keep the option of furthering your studies. While working, you can still do some part-time degree courses in the evenings, which usually would allow you to complete over a longer period of time (say, 4 years) of your choice.

However, if your heart is actually telling you that you should continue with NUS (which means I misinterpreted the direction your heart is facing) then you should really go ahead. Somehow it would still work out well. There are people out there in worse-off situations than you are in, and they managed nevertheless with their sheer determination and perseverance.

Finally, I suggest you base your decisions on your priorities in life (materialism should not embed in any of your priorities); don't base your decisions by only your sense of responsiblites.

sharked SG

Thankz ppl... really lotsa great advices

~~~~~~~I LOVE YOU PPL~~~~~~~~~
<3

Devil1976 SG

Laughing

laosu SG

Yah...for a poly student who managed to get into NUS, I don't think you aren't that stupid afterall.

Another way is, if your dad and mum's CPF still got money inside, take it as a loan from them first. Apply to deduct the school fees from the CPF and once you get your degree and start working, you have to return back the money to their CPF. This is what my friend did for her poly fees. I'm not so sure about UNI but no harm checking it out.

jeramy SG

the loans are really not that scary lah..

you just have to devote your money to paying your loans the first few years of your work then should be alright in the long run.

lets say after you grad and start to work and earn abt 2k+ per month, then maybe pay back 1k every month for 2 years then that should settle most of it.

Devil1976 SG

Yup. It's not really that scary.. It's just like using a credit card, except for more meaningful thing... So long as you know where you're heading towards in your studies and is DEVOTED to it, it's just a way of buying yourself a future ticket..

Pay back later by installments... Wink

sharked SG

maybe its not the loan thats scaring me.... its the daily financial needs DURING the period of studies. Travel n food expenses, monthly bills etc etc

i have a fear of working part time because last time i did it in poly, my results dropped drastically. Hung on to the part time job for a year and got 2 semesters of horrible results. And i simply cannot make it when it comes to giving tuition la...... forgot all my elementary stuff liao

haihhzz........ go talk to my dad see how......... hate this part.....

sharked SG

f cuk la!

mom cant even be bothered lo : "next year then say..."

dad obviously hinting i cannot to afford to study U lo........

f cuking encouragin, dad... f cuking encouraging

It is because of their lack of life planning that we are in such shiite now.... shouldnt have bothered "consulting" such ppl

Appearantly all those who had replied in this post spent more time and more brains thinking about my problem than both my parents add together lor.....

in a super screwy moood now Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad

hisoka SG

relax your parent also no choice it hink they are lost also lah at this time.

hope you can come to a good decision.

jeramy SG

most often than not, it is this kind of "scared this scared that" mentality which is hindering much of our progress..

no doubt careful planning and wise management is advisable, but we also must keep in mind that we won't really know what exactly is going to happen until we actually do it..

i say to you, go ahead and try...even if really bei tahan and you feel you no choice and gotta quit halfway, then bobian means bobian but at least you tried for it... but i'm sure things will work out for u..

take my case:
my family also not very well-to-do, albeit a bit better than yours. and i also take up maximum loan of everything, tuition grant, study loan etc..

as for everyday expenses, i live off my little bit of savings i managed to save in NS, just have to be more frugal, and I'll try to top them up by working during holidays.

if you think you cannot work part-time, then work during holidays lor. also can.

so far, tomorrow is my end of semester 1 in NUS, and i find the going not as bad as i've imagined...if i never tried, then i wouldn't that its actually sustainable. Smile

binZ SG

Neutral

ellisbeck SG

I guess it's sometimes naturally to feel the way you do especially when family members don't show you the support and guidance that you clearly need.

Many individuals, particularly those in our parents' generation, cope by avoidance and suppression. It's so common for me to see adults in that "era" to cope with issues with avoidance and suppression. This apparently shows that they are most probably lost too. Your mum's comments are clearly signs of avoidance and loss. Your Dad is hinting instead of not telling you outright because it is not an easy thing to tell you he thinks you cannot afford. (But that's what he thinks.) And even if he tells you straight in the face, it is likely he's lost too. (I mean, wouldn't he be at a loss? Besides, his days are numbered..)

Give yourself some time to chill off at times because you deserve some quiet moments to relax and reflect. Follow your heart; and in the event that you choose to opt for the NUS route, I am still confident that you would be able to pull through eventually - as long as you have the determination and perseverance.

binZ SG

Originally posted by ellisbeck:

I guess it's sometimes naturally to feel the way you do especially when family members don't show you the support and guidance that you clearly need.

Many individuals, particularly those in our parents' generation, cope by avoidance and suppression. It's so common for me to see adults in that "era" to cope with issues with avoidance and suppression. This apparently shows that they are most probably lost too. Your mum's comments are clearly signs of avoidance and loss. Your Dad is hinting instead of not telling you outright because it is not an easy thing to tell you he thinks you cannot afford. (But that's what he [b]thinks.) And even if he tells you straight in the face, it is likely he's lost too. (I mean, wouldn't he be at a loss? Besides, his days are numbered..)

Give yourself some time to chill off at times because you deserve some quiet moments to relax and reflect. Follow your heart; and in the event that you choose to opt for the NUS route, I am still confident that you would be able to pull through eventually - as long as you have the determination and perseverance.

[/b]

nicely put.

sharked SG

thanks guys......

back to square one..... had to think up a solution before school starts...... or before feb. They said i will receive some letters in feb for me to confirm my entrance to nus...... i dunno if at feb i say yes i going, then later realise cannot make it and tell them no before sch starts, or if i drop out half way thru studying, wonder they'll blacklist me or not... as in if that'll hinder my future application into nus if i choose to study as a mature applicant....

.. guess i'll have to check tt out with nus

again thanks ppl Smile

ellisbeck SG

It is not likely that they would blacklist you even if you drop out halfway. (Though I wouldn't support the idea of dropping out) Do let the university know of your reason of needing to drop out (if that happens). One way to do that is to talk to a counsellor in NUS (at Yusof Ishak House, I think) if you move on to the university. In fact, I strongly encourage you to do that. For all you know, there would be fresh perspectives that you can take on and then be able to move on with balancing studies, work and family. Also, going through the counsellor for NUS would even provide you with options of possible help that you can receive from the university.

Devil1976 SG

You're no longer that young a kid... Can't always depend on your parents for everything..? Sometimes you've just got to make certain DECISIONS for yourself so long as you understand you'll be responsible for what ya do...?

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