Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Things are flowing
way too hasty and you are running on a perlious track. The meet up
constitute merely one month and the sleeping together part had
already occured. It may not be easy to recover from a failed
relationship of three solid years - but bear in mind that
emotionally, the reaction to this sudden void could be the very
reason why all these scenario took place.
Love becomes very blur and you have people waiting to fill in
application... hoping for some success in wooing you. One candidate
arrive and you sees him as a potential. [b]To you, it probably means that you
are too used in being in a relationship that subconsciously,
singlehood seemed so alien to you. To this man, it could mean sex,
fun and company.
When sex comes into the picture BEFORE a relationship, it is like
putting the cart before the horse - all your variables changes. If
people could have the opportunity to walk out of a retail store
with any items and pay some other day, what are the chances anyone
would pay? Even if you will receive some payment, one thing is for
sure: anyone who
pays will delay the payment.
Your man isn't shy - in fact, he is reviewing his stand now.
Chances are, his feelings for you may not justify a relationship
for him. Things are 'cool' now? Of course things are 'cool'! All
the fun MINUS the commitment and responsibility of a
relationship... who doesn't want it? Just like who doesn't want to
walk out of any retail store, with any items, while paying on a
later date?
***
When you fall in
Love, you draw up the portcullis that guards your emotions. You
become vulnerable to emotional injury and this is inevitable
because you allowed access for Love to enter. You cannot Love
without Hurt, even with the best security system you set up
emotionally. This is an unwritten promise.
It seemed to me that you need more time to get over yourself before
embarking on a new journey in BGR. After all these 'fun company'
you gain from each other, you become fearful as certain
familar confusion
(probably as experienced in your previous relationship) are
surfacing. You now demand a relationship to secure your stand, but
your man hesitated.
There are reasons why he is hesitating and being shy has absolutely
nothing to do with it. Please spare some thoughts to my post and
think. 
Cheers [/b]
Hahaha..Yunhaier...I've always admire the way you replied.
Let me put it in a more simplier form.
Why don't just let the relationship grow by itself instead of
asking what the other party wants or what you want out of the
relationship?
But as a woman, I supposed she's more anxious about the
relationship and want to have a clearer picture of the status
especially if sexual activities had been involved. Sometimes,
things don't really have to be put into words to understand. If the
guy is shy and has difficulities in expressing himself properly,
there's no point in stressing him for an answer.
But as a woman, to protect yourself, I guess it's best that you
make a decision which you think is best for this relationship. If
he love her enough, he'll try to do something about it and I think
even a little changes is obvious enough to know his answers and
whether if he's really serious about the relationship. If he
chicken out and just do what the girl decide, then there's no point
having this kind of bf either cause he can't even take care of
himself unless the girl is prepared to take care of him
instead.
