How would u feel if ur stead still contacts her/his ex?

last SG · 2005-11-15T23:34:54+00:00

duh! anyway, my boyfriend do have gal friends and i'm fine with that. i don't ask a lot too when he goes out with his friends. but of course if he wants to t...

Itachi SG

How would u feel?

I want some description abt the feeling.. as my ex's bf wasn't happy about me seeing/msging/finding her.. so we cut off the contact/friendship.
this thread is somehow link to my previous one "Do u contact ur ex" tt one i tink.

To her bf.. the message he sent me was like.. he felt that this was Li Suo Dang Ran(dunno hw to express in english) lidat.. he wasn't even guilty that we broke off this friendship for him so that he wun be unhappy.. wth.

So i just wanna find out how bad does it feels seeing ur stead wif their ex.. coz i nv had such feeling before Cool Is it really that bad?

I know there's no point insisting on keeping this friendship since she chose to give up friendship for him.. sarkz Neutral

Thanks in advance for your replies.. Smile

anhydrouscoppersulphate SG

already say its ex already

LazerLordz SG

He has no right to dictate who the girl sees, as a friend.

rain_drop SG

should be ok with it… but don’t ever lie or try to cover up.

Itachi SG

He told me he trust the girl and had faith in her.. the person who he dun trust is me Cool

qooorange SG

that means he dun have faith in his gf.

qooorange SG

that means he dun have faith in his gf. indirectly also reveal his own insecurities..

babymac13 SG

In my own opinion, i believe it's fine to keep in contact with ur exbf/gf so long no mushy or intimate type of messages,shld be open in anything and nothing much to hide.
Of cos, most impt of all, there must always be a trust between me and my partner.

Trust ur stead, if you think there's nothing much going on between, it is not worth to get hurt for nothing. And if you hav any misunderstanding, double check with him, before you just into conclusion.

Doubser SG

mentioning about this, my friend told a group of friends tht contacting their Exs is acceptable but awkward.. girls especially.. the new guy who went into a new relationship with her will feel awkward .. sure have a mindset of "WTF, u're contacting someone u had sex b4" .. loLz. funny but this will haunt ya. Surprised

Itachi SG

dunno.. then i asked "what do u tink i will do.. or what do u tink i can do?"

then he replied, "its just the feeling ya? wel anyway theres no point
in toking anymore. just hope u get the idea ya?"(quoted directly) Cool

i wonder if he surfs SGF.. Rolling Eyes

applesweetgirl SG

if my stead is still in contact with his ex, of course i would be upset. more often than not, this kind of relationship will be kept secret/hidden. so it's very sad to find out de lor. even though there may not really be any 'ai mei guan xi' between them, but because of the need to hide, it makes everything really...unpleasant.
the stead may give reason like, "if i tell you, won't you be unhappy?" which is true la. but don't tell also unhappy. so best is, once u break off with your stead, please just forget about him/her la. i do not believe in plain guy/girl friendship. esp if they were together before.

Itachi SG

U don't completely trust ur stead.. do u?

LazerLordz SG

Then you have a long way to go I think..based on your last statement. Wink

rainee SG

I think it is fine, as long as they dun feel awkward towards each other...I have trust in him Wink

FeowFeow SG

Dear Itachi,

It varies from person to person, there's No right or wrong, it's all to do with FEELINGS. And where matters of the heart are concerned, there are No absolutes.

Your gf has her heart in the right place. No matter what, you're her ex. He's her present, & perhaps, if she handles it properly, he could be her future. If I had to choose between the 2, I would've made the same choice.

FeowFeow

applesweetgirl SG

i do trust my stead.

i just don't trust the other girls.

applesweetgirl SG

is it?

i think ppl who say they are fine with their stead still in contact with their ex are bullshitting. wait till you experience it. ha!

JuzMy2Cts SG

Hi all,

i dont feel good and i know this feeling first hand as my gf does go out with her ex currently. i feel the main determining factor is the character of your partner and the character of their ex.

Many talk about trusting your partner. Imo trust has to be earned and not blindly given. At this time my gf has truly done enough to earn mine and this trust will be always on a on-going review basis determined by her behaviour and honesty to me.

Its a true and honest feeling when people say they trust their partner but not the ex... i said that to my gf too... ren xin ge du pi, zhi ren zhi mian bu zhi xin... i will not bad mouth my gf's ex but neither will i trust him or any other guys to behave gentlemanly behind me in front of my gf...its not about self confidence here, its about not being naive as a matter of fact...

take care Itachi, imo if you want to have a friendship with your ex, do a little bit more to earn her bf's trust...

FeowFeow SG

Hello AppleSweetGirl,

Actually, I think you're right, & I think LazerLordz is right.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, there're No rights or wrongs with regards to feelings. You can perhaps place absolute right or wrong on actions, morals, etc, but Not fee1 lings3.

Some of us feel secure enough to allow our partners to pursue a relationship with their exes. Some don't like it.

FeowFeow

shinta SG

i'm fine with him doing that.

i can't possibly tell him no female frenz hor! Laughing
I believe tat he will never do anything to upset me.. if that trust is not there, i guess, i won't have agreed to walk the rest of life's journey with him

Embarassed

However, there was once he went out with a female fren and he refused to reveal who she is. (i asked cos i'm curious... i dunno most of his frenz.. maybe tats why....) except that i'd be jealous if i knew..

heck.. the min he goes out with a female i'd be jealous Laughing

jealousy is 1 issue, but no trust is a different issue altogether, and a worse issue i believe.