Why? Any1 explain to me? why?

last SG · 2005-11-09T13:13:44+00:00

wait…how can you compare Jesus Christ with you? He did what he did without expecting anything in the first place.

James1 SG

How would you feel when someone you like very much tells you that you are not her cup of tea? for now, i don't wish to elaborate on this.
Someone you like very much, you ask her out and she agrees, you just simply likes her so much then you don't even want her to spend a single cent on food, items, etc. On a group outing, you are with her all the time, don't wish her to be lonely or alone, you stood beside her all the time, allowing her to feel she got a companion all the time.
During lecture break time, you don't want her to trouble herself by taking a trip down to cafeteria, you offer to buy food and drinks for her. Let her enjoy everything, please her, serve her and comfort her. Send her home when school dismissal, offer to lift up her heavy load by carring some books and bags for her. Treat her like a princess...
All the while along you commit so much thing, do all the unnecessarilly things you don't deserve to do and one day you confess saying you like her and in return, she rejects you becoz she got no feelings for you or have an admirer already.
Everything is fair to everybody, why not me? Take Jesus Christ for instance, he died on the cross for everybody, in return, he still got people who worship, praise and love him.
Why are some girls who don't appreciate guys who have done so much for her, Sacrifice for her?
WHY? WHY? WHY? Crying or Very sad

dragg SG

i dont know.

elindra SG

Because she don’t have feelings for you anymore than a friend. Plus, you did all those things for her out of your own free will.

maggot SG

It's all destined Cool

FeowFeow SG

Dear James,

If you expect something in return for the things you've done, then chances are, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Whilst I'm Not saying that it's your fault, let this be a positive lesson to you that in future, you will be mentally prepared for rejection even after you've done nice things for someone.

There're guys who do nice things for friends just because they're like that in nature, & I've had great friends like these when I was in uni. They did these things for everybody. The girl may have thought that you were doing these simply because you treated her as a good friend.

Do note that doing these things doesn't mean a person is obligated to have feelings for you. Matters of the heart are often beyond our control.

FeowFeow

tsubasa82 SG

Don't be surprised. A gal can let you hold her hand, let you kiss her and even have sex with you but in the end can still say that you're not her type. Read my post Shattered Heart for details.
Just be glad that you haven't but in too much feelings into it.
Advice, next time don't bother putting too much feelings into anyone. Have the "i just wanna fool" around mentality. It'll make life easier. 'Cause not everyone appreciates a nice person.

RebeL SG

U have the right to pursue, she has the right to reject

so_what SG

Hey dude, it isn't urs or her fault. Dun "complain" too much if u wanna to do all the "sacrifices" for her. If a gal does not hav any feelings for u, wat u did is useless..if u think u treat her lik a princess is great, then u r wrong ! Some gals dun lik to be served..u got to find out wat type she is b4 u did all the jobs. i would suggest u try to find out wat she likes, then it's really worth to give her some surprises Wink

M©+square SG

Look Starpuppy,

James1 is a classic example of the SELF sacrifical Lamb.

Learn from this case.

zichuan SG

James look on the bright side, dont think too much. When it is not yours, you want to make it yours, can be done. Just be persistent. Dont give up.

browniebaobao SG

Either accept it or keep whining.

Apollo_sg SG

lemme repeat. some pple buay kan....
spend time with them also waste.

look for others who can appreciate u lah.

Ito_^ SG

take Jesus Christ for example, there are the satanists. there isn’t anything you can do, look for someone else.

Tuatau SG

Don't really mean to rub salt on the wound, but you probably shouldn't have brought Jesus Christ into the picture because now your so-called sacrifice seems so insignificant.

If you really want to take a leaf from the Gospels, maybe you can try taking this first step: Next time when you do something for the girl, stop worrying about gratification, put aside your motives and forget all about how you expect the girl to repay you.

Perhaps then the sincerity behind your actions would reveal itself.

zichuan SG

I like this phrase.

zichuan SG

I been throught your situation, but i can tell u that the gal appreciate what i did for her, and ask me to directly ask her to be my gf, but i did told her all the things i did for her. She told me heart knows it can already, no need say it out. Well.. love is complicated, sincerity takes its place. Throw away all the intentions.. your heart will lead the way. Take things slowly step by step, love cannot be rush.

babymac13 SG

If you want to contribute, you shouldn't have any regrets. To love a person doesn't require any vaild reasons, hence any contributions willingly to someone should not expect a payback. The power of loving someone will mean unlimited contributions, so long the one you love will be happy always. I understand your plight, move on if you think she 's not worth you waiting. I believe you will find another green land on the other side.

laosu SG

Give you a scenario.
6yrs back I fell in love with a girl and like you, I did all I can to please her, pay for her stuffs, help her buy food and blah blah blah for a whole 1yr and all she can say is she knew I'm good to her but she simply just got no feelings for me.

3yrs back I get to know my current gf, fell in love with her but did nothing cause of distant (she's malaysian living in malaysia,9hrs bus journey). But for these three years, we become good friends and soulmates to each other and I've put aside the love for her long ago. Mid this year, she came over to Singapore to visit me. As much as a good friend can do, I bring her around and attends to her needs as she's not familiar with Singapore. She stayed for 4 days.

Early July this year, I went over to her hometown for a short trip and end up staying there for three weeks. During these three weeks, my feelings for her seemed to slowly come back and by the time I'm back to Singapore, I'm quite affirm of my feelings for her. I confessed to her and it took her a few days to decide if she wanna be with me. She finally agreed and I happen to ask her if she love me and she admit that she did. And I ask her since when and she admit again that she started to have feelings for me during her trip here. And I ask her why and she simply say that just because I'm good to her during that few days and that I really take very good care of her.

I never did expect it's during that period that she start to have feelings for me. Initially I tot was during my three weeks at her hometown. During her stay in Singapore, all I did was just take care of her needs and I never expect anything from her.

Bottomline is, no matter what you do, don't expect anything back cause you'll feel disappointed if the person fails to give you what you expect. There's no need to be "EXTRA" nice towards a person. Just be natural.

It's quite obvious that she is touched by your "helpfullness" but not moved by your "willingness". I think she did the right thing by rejecting you outrightly when she knows that she got no feelings for you. Or do you rather that she "entertain" you by accepting you just because of the things you did for her and she feel obligue to say "yes" to you and then later decide to leave you just cause she still can't get the right feelings for you? Won't you be in a more sorry state?

Think about it pal.

rainee SG

So what? Just because you do all these things, she is OBLIGED to like you back?

Loving someone is NEVER an OBLIGATION. It just happens.

You might feel unappreciated by her, but then again, did she ever ask you to do all those things for her? If you are really sincere in doing all that, then you should have no regrets and should not be whining about it.

Since she already told you that she doesn't have feelings towards you, move on and find someone else who can appreciate you more.

BrUtUs SG

no.1 rule -> never treat a gal you interested like a princess unless she already ur gf... no use being good guys cos usual good guys dun interest them... good guy's chance come later in life... wait for your time...