To dibilo and BBB, somehow have caught the core reason for it.
Thanks guys for contributing.
_________________
To Ray87:
[[Question: How would you like it if your gf one day tells you,
that she went into a r/s with you just because she wish to forget
about her ex?]]
- Mirror
[[Question 2: If the new girl you've gotten cannot help you forget
the past, will you pass her up and look for another to 'save' from
your past?]]
To expound on it (new love seeker syndrome)
1 - Motive (Self reflection)
2 - Closure (Self)
3 - Cycle (People and self)
4 - Excess Bagguage (People and self)
If this topic we're discussing on regards love as the motivation in
a relationship.
1 Then what will subsituation become?
The fault lies in the motive behind getting a new partner.
'to forget the past'
Though it might work with some people. That having new love, he/she
could be released from former hurts and pains.
Like what BBB and dibilo mentioned. It is a very selfish act,
unfair to self and the new partner.
But if the rest of us have the same mindset, we will all be
threading on dangerous grounds. Why? (see point 2)
We must always learn the values of being in a relationship, count
the cost of commiting into one.
if you can answer the above two questions,
then you don't have to read further.
2 We learn to escape from closure. We dare not face
the failures and setback before us.
People who cannot set themselves apart from their past will suffer
in later part of their lives.
There are too many regrets and things undone. Man cannot turn back
time and undo those which he regretted, but to live with it.
There are two kinds of people who can live with it. Namely:
- the Hard-heartened(through experience)
- the Unlearned.
People who escapes from closure mostly have low self esteem and
falls into depression easier.
They see failure as a huge part of their lives. Self pity and
attention seeking sets in.
Because likely these people who does not like to 'close doors
behind them before open the one in front' are to practise it in
every part of their lives. Work, family, money, private life.
They can't help but to leave things hanging around (to point
3)
End product: Who's going to suffer?
3 These will bring us to the a vicious cycle.
When everyone in a particular social circle embraces in the 'new
love seeker syndrome'
Everyone will be hurt. Either party will run away and seek a new
lover so to forget the last one, and so on.
The end. The particular social circle will be a miserable
group.
4 When in your heart. You're not convinced that the
past relationship is over. It is most likely not.
If your new love is right in front of you and you think you should
give it a shot, because you felt it's the right time (with correct
motivation).
Then the present relationship is yours to build and cherish.
If you doubt yourself in the present relationship in terms of
dealing with Past and present. The 'ghost'(hypothetical) of former
relationship haunts you...
Then it's Excess Bagguage.
It'll weigh down the person and partner as well.
As much as your partner wants to help you out of your sufferings,
she/he feels tired and doubts her/his own ability in the r/s.
Ultimately, will think if 'you have truly loved him/her
before'.
Time will tell if that relationship will last.
Excess bagguage's potent damage is >>> long term emotional
drag, communication breakdown, emotional obligation, empathy and
fatigue.
To be crude... to forget about past relationships' is
an excuse.
How this idea came about was a distubing concept altogether.
It is a irresponsible behaviour. But no matter what, the one
suffering is self.
These category of people will take a longer time to learn what love
is.
All depends on the degree of condition of mindset.
Am i trying to make it sound scary like a psycho thingy? Nope, the
theory isn't scary, the people who have the traits of those 4
points in.
Close the door behind and walk ahead to the door in front. Learn
what you've experienced and do it better when you open the next
door.
MC
