Shattered heart

tsubasa82 SG

Went on a date with a gal a month ago. Everything was great, and we had sex after that. But after the sex, she told me that she only broke off with her bf like 2 mths before we got together. She's not ready for a relationship yet.
So i told her i'll wait till she's ready.

However, she started to become cold towards me when we're in front of friends. I felt that something's not right. Last monday, she told me to give up on her. She said i still don't understand her, but how am i supposed to understand her when she always try to avoid me? I've been trying to talk to her, but she doesn't respond. And she said that we're not suitable and i'm not her type. It's really like WTF.

I asked her why she had sex with me, was i just a substitute. She said that i hurt her by saying that. She did it with me because she really like me that time. But then it's like only 1 month ago.
Now, in front of friends i have to behave as if i'm alright. But deep down inside, i'm really devastated. It really didn't matter to me whether we had sex or not, i really like her.

I really don't know what to do. It's like quite impossible for me to be with her again.

vindicated SG

Pray to God!!
And dont be stupid!!!

saline SG

give her sometime to sort out her life first. after that than try to talk to her again?

Quinsy SG

Maybe she just liked you for the sex.

Kennerve SG

Hi.. no point crying over spilt milk now.. She has made it clear that things between you and her are over.. But that is not the end of the world. From how I read your post.. you were kinda direct to her when you asked her why did she wanna do it with you.. To a girl.. She will feel that you are treating her cheaply.

Don't you find that having sex when you are into a month of relationship is fast? It looks like she is
1) Unable to get over her ex bf.
2) You have done something that she is unhappy about

What ever the issue is now.. You should talk to her not in a persisting manner. In her mind, she is thinking that you are not suitable for her. But it is up to you to win her heart back. But if she insist on the same outcome, my advice is give it up and let go.

Tell her your feelings and let her tell you about hers. Who knows, you 2 may be good frens instead of a couple?

Cheers. Wink

tsubasa82 SG

Well i really want to know her true feelings and also to tell her how i feel. But then, there really isn’t any opportunity to talk about it. And call me a wimp if you want, i’m afraid that she will start avoiding me.

drx SG

then write a card and tell her how u feel.

tsubasa82 SG

Yeah i did, but then i couldn't really convey how i feel in text. And i still don't know her true feelings. All she told me was can we remain as friends.

KopiKia SG

Maybe she didn't like the sex the first time. You should have given her wonderful sex, maybe she wouldn't treat you this way after having sex Wink

drx SG

she is not sure who to chose yet.
give her sometime.. she will come around.
no point forcing her...

just from friends again.
support her always and be there for her when she needs u.

tsubasa82 SG

I’ve waited years for something good to happen, but it was taken away from me so quickly. I really hope that this will work out well.

SinGaporGuy SG

so hw old r u both??

Manager433 SG

Thats why never trust women. They are most dangerous when they just broke off with their bf. She juz making use of you.

Fucking Bitch SG

if things don't work out in the end, you can tell yourself it's her loss, while you managed to get a free fuck, you should be happy for yourself instead

tsubasa82 SG

I'm 23 and she's turning 20 at the end of the year.

Sex or no sex, really doesn't matter to me, 'cause i've had hell lots of them.
What i really want is to have someone who i can turn to.
One might say, family and friends. Yes, i have got a supportive mother and brothers and friends who really love and care for me. However, there's a part in me that they can never fill.
I regret all my foolish and immoral ways. This might really be a retribution for me.

Yunhaier SG

She might have learnt that her Love for you isn't substantial. Perhaps it may only be liking or even using you as a substitute, but one truth remains: not ready for a relationship begins not after the sex part, rather, it existed all these while.

When one undergo an emotional turmoil from a failed relationship, there is a great tendency to seek emotional dependency from others. What happened is that we try to restore whatever damage our failed BGR has dealt to us, using other channels to redirect our emotional focus so that we could allow time to repair what is necessary. We want life as 'normal' as how we perceive what 'normal' means to us. You see people start hanging out with friends, indulge in new hobbies, bury themselves in books, work OT or even attempting to try out new Love partner to displace their past.

Sex probably provoked her thoughts deeper - about her own feelings. She might have gained certain thoughts that render her the inability to accept you into a relationship with her. Clouds of doubts began to disperse from her befuddled heart and she gradually began to understand more about herself. This understanding is the reason of her rejection. Idea

Cheers

tsubasa82 SG

Thank you everyone for your kind advice. There isn't a need for them anymore. Had a talk with her this afternoon. Though there are much i still don't understand and she never made clear, i think it's time i give up. She kept insisting that i'm not her type. I was indeed just a substitute. I had that feeling all along, but i thought that by being sincere and show her my care and concern, i'll be able to make her like me. Guess i was wrong.
Well, at least i ended it beautifully by giving her a kiss. Time for me to move on, it'll take awhile for me to recover though.

Devil1976 SG

Cool

rogue13 SG

Well I'm sure u feel better now; u no longer have to guess wat she's thinking.. It moved on chop-chop; at least u din have to drag for months or years Smile