Originally posted by SGEMP:
Dear Aunt Agony and everyone
I am SGEMP, (Yuen Shek Ngai), a Hong Konger, a loyal member of
sgForums, and a student, 16, from Damai Secondary School
I am very unhappy with what had happened for today 23
October.
Today before my Damai Secondary school assembly, at about 1230, as
I rushed my way down to the hall that damn Jordan and his wicked
ugly Malay gang of seven of 3E4 obstructed my way there, and
knocked me to the pillar when I tried to overtake them.(In response
I used middle finger to scold these goddamned bums.) Them, instead
of condemning them, the teachers in the hall condemned me! I want
them crushed dead by a Bishan-bound service 59 bus--------and their
entire families wiped out by bird
flu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!They will all be knocked down into
hell!!!!!!!!!!
Then when the prize-giving ceremony came (1-something pm), I
realised that prizes that could have been won freely free of charge
i.e. the SKM were all won by the others! (If not remember wrong, I
could only get my SKM badge after a purchase of $10 NANAS 2006
calender, which was yet to arrive when I had truly ordered for
IT!)
I do not know why in recent years it is getting harder and harder
for me to won in any prizes or competitions without much expense
while others were easier without spending much of their fortunes?
WHY? Why the Chinese gods are so fuckingly unfair, keeping on
abandoning me when at the time I needed them most??????
WHY??????
I am very damn angry on this injustices on top and below!
Later in the computer club meeting(1415 pm), although I was
satisfied with the CCA score I got (in LEAPS system), but I am very
disappointed that others, not me (a secondary 3 express student
about to be promoted to secondary 4 express the next year), were
appointed by my CCA teacher for the position of Computer Club
Committee members. They all went up effortlessly, only by their
teachers' help! Such fucking unfairness and injustice!
In the past whole year I worked very hard, under my chemistry
teacher¡¯s advice, in my Computer Club, attending the CCA regularly
and participating, eventually completing, in everything as
instructed by my teachers without fail, in hopes of getting enough
points and a leadership role, that is, the committee member.
And what did I get in return? Everything is wasted. I was damn
unfortunate. I was unfortunately not appointed into the committee.
What a fucking waste!
And that extra CCA points all gone, I have no choice only but to
suffer for the next whole year under them, without any extra points
to lighten my damning fucking asshole
load!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finally back home, over a minor disaggreement of placement of
skipping ropes (4-something pm) evolved a terrible arguement and
meltdown between me and my mother, unfortunately. My mother
suggested me to place the ropes in the shelf near to the computer I
am using to issue THIS agony note, but I disagreed for cleaness
reasons because in that shelf were my computer peripherals such as
my thumbdrive, audio-speakers and so. And maybe because I did not
heard her "OK", so in my angry fuckingly angry protest I shutthe
door and boycotted today's skipping session. And so a flame war
started until I reasoned "I could have either misunderstood you or
didn't hear clearly what you had said just now."
And as the flame war goes on I have came up with my mind of go to
the overhead bridge near my home and JUMP DOWN onto the PIE, let me
die from the impact or the traffic. I WANTED TO COMMIT
SUICIDE!
And so, I asked myself: Is all these caused by bad luck, bad
fengshui, bad Wen Chang fate, or else? Is it all because I was too
cheap? Is it that I am damn incapable of winning? Is it that I was
being stripped of my potentials and chances especially to both
leadership and winning prizes, awards? Or is it because I am of
late-night born, snake and Taurus that I was only fated to win
later in life as a late-formed supreme being? (I mean,
´óÆ÷Íí³É?)
And am I totally useless, shunned by Singapore society?
If all these were yes, and essentially if there were no
improvements in the near future, I had rather go and commit suicide
rather than living a bitter, hopeless, fruitless life, since by now
I believed that in life, I could not get what I desired for(I do
not have even my desired friends, only to be with the undesirables
daily!), and in death, I have no grievances.
I wanted to die by suicide as now I wanted to live but cannot and
that now I wanted dead but also cannot!
And that if all these were yes, I would want to give up everything
including the bus guides I had and my most hatred life, by
committing suicide until I am dead, all my blood were leaked out of
my body and no air comes into my body and my wholebody becomes
senseless, numb!
Up till here, I feel that I wanted to commit suicide, because I
felt that I am cheap, slow developing, very useless, very
incapable, very inable, and very hopeless, not optimistic of my
life. I don't think there would any more achievements for me in the
near future while life is getting very bitter for me, being futile,
fruitless, hopeless.
And so I believed that only by commiting suicide would I be able to
get what I wanted.
Also I think it is better for me to go into fortune superstition
because only this is good for my future.
(And so I would be out tomorrow 25 October afternoon in Kuan Yin
Temple praying for my fortune and my future, and where necessary I
would look for a roadside stall providing luck-telling for help.
Even better I have considered of changing my name.)
[b]What do you think about my plan to consult fortune and commit
suicide? And is there any way to help me out? I urgently needed
help!
HELP IS NEEDED FROM EVERYONE!
And So I would appreciate if everyone here could help me
out before it is all too late, by providing useful advices and
suggestions for me to improve on, with the sincerely welcomed
suggestions and advices sent to here, my Private Message, or my
email account [email protected]
Also I decided to go on strike, not doing anything, not even to
post on this forum!
Thank you and I would like to hear from everyone soon.
Thank you for your invaluable help rendered to me in my miserable
times.
Yours sincerely
ysn
Yuen Shek Ngai (SGEMP)
24 October 2005, Singapore Bedok North
[/b]
I think you need a change of mindset more
than a change of fortune.
P.S: Anything about fortune, you can PM Zacken99.
Cheers
