is there meaning to a marriage nowaday????

last SG · 2005-10-26T18:58:43+00:00

i think no matter what reasons for the marriage, the conclusion is at the end of the day ' people changes' and thats what happen to my marriage..... he no l...

changb57 SG

since the divorce rate is higher and nowaday marriage is so fragile,....then why married????

i fail once and i see that people change....what is the point of marriage then???? women are as bad as men....nowaday women also have affairs...what a world??? Shocked

WiNtEr'SkiLL SG

the case u hear of are the minority
majority of marriages are normal , and good just that the media chooses to publicise broken marraige more often

changb57 SG

then i think i am bad luck to surround by all the broken one

i don see any value in marriage already.....too many affairs going around....not only men...women also.....just heard my friend going for divorce after less then a year marriage ....they just register last year......and his wife got an affair....

very heart breaking..... Crying or Very sad

WiNtEr'SkiLL SG

perhaps our generation ppl tend to get more wild ... even after marriage

our parents generation didnt really think so much
other then getting married and bearing children starting a family

the younger generation likes to seek pleasure and excitement

FeowFeow SG

Dear Changb57,

People enter marriage for a multitude of reasons financial security, spousal support, to have children, love, it being the right time & being pressured by family members being the most common reasons for taking the step towards marriage.

Love is, to me, the ONLY reason why you should get married. You should be mentally prepared for marriage & what the marriage vows entail. The reason why marriages fail more often nowadays may be attributed to individuals Not taking marriage as seriously as before. Perhaps they're faced with better options, such as better alimony, perceived "better" partners, focusing on career, etc.

However, there have been instances when 2 people enter a marriage for the right reason, & end up being very happy. I know 1 particular couple who's like that, & they have 2 children. Perhaps we shouldn't be so pessimistic & instead, should try & see where some people succeed.

FeowFeow

JLennon SG

No, love isn't the only reason to get married. You can still love and not get married. Marriage is almost the highest form of commitment between two parties. That's why one of the reasons for the failure of some marriages is that couples are unable to commit to each other on a long term basis and start having affairs.

You cannot say that 'better alimony' is a possible reason for a break-up of marriage! That means the marriage was consummated on the premise that a spouse will be financially better off following a divorce!

If a couple enters into a marriage for the right reasons (i.e. willingness to commit), it is highly likely that the marriage will last.

maxcp SG

Yes ... some women are worst den man ........ the world now ..... sigh disappointed .....

maxcp SG

same case as mine ......

SpeedStar SG

Very sorry to hear that...but it still can't stop me from marry a gal that I loved.

Cheers, Cool

surfer188 SG

Enviroment is a big issues. Friends & colluges comparing ...

Even Laws is in-directly supporting divorce, Singapore Famous "Women's Chapter".

Heard many women talks, "Divorce Him, can have 50% of all his Monies."

It's fair to support the kids & for ex-wife. These laws should be only accessable to true cases. Wink

Last of all, people do change & they change faster this generation. Crying or Very sad

M©+square SG

Married already?

Cheers

SpeedStar SG

paisei salah...haha Embarassed

M©+square SG

Good that you know what you're talking about.

Let's continue with the topic. Smile

Cheers

Devil1976 SG

Cool

Wanda SG

Yep yep....what a man can do, the women can also do nowadays...although I have yet to see a women with several "smaller husbands" or 4 husbands.

FeowFeow SG

1. I'm afraid my post was misunderstood. I said TO ME, love is the only reason to get married. I also listed out a multitude of common reasons why people get married nowadays.

2. I think your 2nd sentence is irrelevant to my post. I'm Not arguing whether people should or should Not get married because of love. I'm saying that love should be the main reason why people get married.

3. With true love, chances that 2 people want to remain committed might be higher.

4. Why can't I say that better alimony is a possible reason for the breakup of marriage? What I'm saying is that it's 1 of the factors that may contribute to the higher divorce stats nowadays. If you wanna debate with me, please try to provide a more intelligent argument rather than nitpick without anything better to add.

5. Lastly, willingness to commit also stems from love. If you wanna deny that, then I don't think we should even waste time arguing.

FeowFeow

changb57 SG

hi feowfeow,

yes people married cos main reason is love and people divorce is also no love......and nowaday love is still so fragile.....and also people change in the fast speed....Stress level in singapore is so high after marriage......be it money work or life......sometimes work till no time for family.....

i am the good example,....first no love, second no time together, third hubby changes......and in the end...i choose the path of divorce...after trying to salvage my marriage cos of my kids.....all my effort waste....until i give up....

i guess nowaday it is not easy to sustain a long term marriage...

honestly speaking, now I rather 'cohabit' then marriage.....cos i see no value in marriage anymore......

did i speel the work correctly...hehe

Yunhaier SG

Why are you all getting so cynical about marriage JUST BECAUSE there is this current trend of increasing divorce?

Statistic means nothing if you work to be the exception.

A failed marriage doesn't mean you are a failure in Love - it simply means that there is something you failed to learn and got owned by the reality of marriage.

Will there come a time when Love becomes a subject and people have to take classes to understand them because self discovery and enlightenment becomes a myth?

I am telling you that the percentage of non-lasting BGR is even worst - then are you going to tell me that you will avoid Love forever?

I said this before: Most people get married because of circumstances, when in fact, it should be the fruition of your Love.

What is the meaning of Fruition?

I) Realization of something desired or worked for; accomplishment: labor finally coming to fruition.
II) Enjoyment derived from use or possession.
III) The condition of bearing fruit.

Lemme post some common scenario:

If you discover that your partner is someone not particularly suitable... will you break with him/her because of incompatibility? Chances are, you may - but problem comes in when this relationship is already 6 years and there isn't any major problem at all. It is generally harmonious and mutual family already acknowledge your presence and anticipating for a wedding.

There are pressures involved (parental, biological, etc). Then you go with the flow... of accepting the marriage and pushing these REAL issue into avoidance.

Is that fruition of Love? Or is it circumstances? Question

***

You have a relationship of five years, generally harmonious and have a healthy sex life. One fine day, the woman is pregnant. You are financially well-to-do and money isn't an issue to you. Chances are, you will get married.

Without getting into the morality of abortion and such: a shotgun marriage... is that fruition of Love? Or is it circumstances? Question

***

Here

If the topic starter were to accept the proposal... a marriage due to emotional insecurity.... is that fruition of Love? Or is it circumstances?

***

There isn't meaning in marriage... you CREATE meaning in YOUR marriage. Idea

Cheers

shinta SG

Originally posted by Yunhaier:

Why are you all getting so cynical about marriage JUST BECAUSE there is this current trend of increasing divorce?

Statistic means nothing if you work to be the exception.

A failed marriage doesn't mean you are a failure in Love - it simply means that there is something you failed to learn and got owned by the reality of marriage.

Will there come a time when Love becomes a subject and people have to take classes to understand them because self discovery and enlightenment becomes a myth?

I am telling you that the percentage of non-lasting BGR is even worst - then are you going to tell me that you will avoid Love forever?

I said this before: [b]Most people get married because of circumstances, when in fact, it should be the fruition of your Love.

What is the meaning of Fruition?

I) Realization of something desired or worked for; accomplishment: labor finally coming to fruition.
II) Enjoyment derived from use or possession.
III) The condition of bearing fruit.

Lemme post some common scenario:

If you discover that your partner is someone not particularly suitable... will you break with him/her because of incompatibility? Chances are, you may - but problem comes in when this relationship is already 6 years and there isn't any major problem at all. It is generally harmonious and mutual family already acknowledge your presence and anticipating for a wedding.

There are pressures involved (parental, biological, etc). Then you go with the flow... of accepting the marriage and pushing these REAL issue into avoidance.

Is that fruition of Love? Or is it circumstances? Question

***

You have a relationship of five years, generally harmonious and have a healthy sex life. One fine day, the woman is pregnant. You are financially well-to-do and money isn't an issue to you. Chances are, you will get married.

Without getting into the morality of abortion and such: a shotgun marriage... is that fruition of Love? Or is it circumstances? Question

***

Here

If the topic starter were to accept the proposal... a marriage due to emotional insecurity.... is that fruition of Love? Or is it circumstances?

***

There isn't meaning in marriage... you CREATE meaning in YOUR marriage. Idea

Cheers[/b]

u mentioned long term relationships.. what about short term ones?

JLennon SG

You are right that willingness to commit stems from love but in my opinion, not all people who love are willing to commit (which was the point that i wanted to put across but failed to elaborate).

As for better alimony being a possible reason for breakup, that seems strange cos i view alimony as a result of a divorce and not as a cause for divorce. perhaps if one of the parties has difficulties in obtaining financial support from the other and decides to file for a divorce in hope that she will be granted an alimony to support herself and the family. this would however seem to me presumptuous. again, you may think that i am nitpicking and not constructive but i am just stating the grounds for my opinion as to why better alimony should not exactly constitute a reason for breakup. Smile