Heres a pretty lengthy story
I got to know 2 guys (A and B, these 2 guys are frens too) from one
of my girl pals. I wasnt very close to them initially, but despite
that, I had a slight crush on B as he was a pretty quiet guy who
seemed to be always deep in thoughts. My fren in turn was close to
A and had some sorta fling going on.
However, due to a misunderstanding, they ceased contact. As I
wanted to help them get back together, I started talking to A to
find out what actually happened. After sometime, A confessed that
he had fallen for me. I was like How the hell can you forget a
girl so fast and fall for another girl within such a short time?
Despite that, I chose not to stay a distance from him as I really
treasured this fren and wanted to help him. He always seemed to
have problems (family, friends, school). I told him that all of
them actually cared about him a lot, cos he complained that nobody
cares about him. It just whether he allowed ppl to care about him.
If he refused to let anyone care about him, how can he say that ppl
do not care about him?
There was a point in time I realized that I had a crush on A. He
could be very sweet sometimes and provided a listening ear to me
too. I sorta flirted with him, but as I thought rationally, I
realized that I could be misleading him and thus I stopped. I
didnt want to get into a relationship as I had personal problems
too. A knew about it, but still wanted to treat me as his gf.
Then I realized that his whole family knew about my existence. I
was very pressured and questioned him on why he had to mislead
everyone into thinking that I was his gf. In addition, he also
began to say disgusting things, like asking me to sleepover at
his house (for a few times already). Each time he said that, I gave
him a piece of my mind and resisted violently as I thought he was
insulting me.
As I began to know him further, I realized that he might not be the
one for me after all. I could foresee all the problems ahead of us
(Eg. My fren might get the wrong idea that I snatched her guy away,
and both A and me just had conflicting personalities). A was very
very very very very stubborn and just could not understand. All he
wanted was for me to be his special fren, where we can hold
hands
etc. I was really disgusted and felt like he was treating me
like some cheap woman. I kept explaining to him that if he still
wanted to treat me as a fren, he ought to stop all these nonsense.
He still could not get it and went on with his nonsense. Eventually
I told him that Im gonna stay a distance away from him as I did not
want him to carry on like this. He agreed initially, but would
continue to msg me all over again after few days of MIA. This
carried on for a few weeks and I was totally sick and tired of it
till I used vulgarities on him. Each time I stopped contacting me,
he would still continue to msg me out of the blue.
During this period, I hung out with my fren, B and a guy fren of
ours regularly. It seemed like double dating, although we are not
couples. After sometime, my fren went steady with our guy fren. B
and I also got to know each other better and I really enjoyed his
company. He was an amusing guy but yet seemed matured and
understanding. I realized that I was falling for him and I knew it
was not just a crush. However, I still maintained my position and
bear in mind that I was not gonna get into a relationship.
As time went by, B and I realized that we have fallen for each
other. However, our problems remained. If we continued to bring our
friendship to a higher level, B would seem to have betrayed his
fren A as he knew that A liked me. As for me, A was still bugging
me (I used the word bugging cos he kept on smsing the same old
stuff and despite many explanation, he still could not
understand).
A found out that B and I have been contacting and said that B was
interested in me. The word seemed to have gotten out and their
whole group of friends and As family knew about it. B wanted to
talk to A to clear things out, but B refused to give him a chance
to do so. Until recently, A finally agreed to talk to B. But the
talk didnt help much, as A kept asking B to continue to woo me and
said that all these dont matter to him. When asked, A said that he
had already given up and would forget about all these problems. He
also told B that he knew 5 new girls recently, which I think he was
trying to show B that he had forgotten about me.
At the same time, A also sms me that he heard from his frens that I
am interested in B and has been wooing him. WTF lor
what rubbish.
I might be interested in B, but im not DESPERATE for guys. I wonder
what else they have been gossiping about.
As elder brother heard about these problems from another mutual
fren, and before even bothering to find out the actual whole story,
he immediately labeled me as a b*tch. He asked me to stay away from
A. I mean, he didnt even find out who was the one who was bugging
and refused to give up. I didnt even contact A (as Ive mentioned
earlier), how can As elder brother assume that I was the one
bugging A? As elder bro did a lot of name-calling and insulted me,
and I really had mixed feelings about it. Do I really deserve all
these?
My questions are:
1) Was I wrong to have misled A at the beginning?
2) What would happen if B and I were to develop our current
friendship into a relationship?
3) What should I do now?? Should I ask A out for a talk? Or should
I clarify things with As elder brother? But if I really were to
ask A out for a talk, im worried that it might be fruitless, cos A
is too stubborn
sad........... 
