Domestic Discipline

Asianguy7 SG

In my family, when I misbehave or failed my exams I would often get discipline by my mum or my aunty (depending on who I was living with at the time.)
This would usually result in me bending over a table and receive the cane on my backside. I had to hold on to the table edge for dear life as it was very painful.

though it was very painful, the worst thing about these punishments was that I have to undress or at the very least let my trousers down. Most times this was ok as my aunt usually discipline me in private.
But there were times when she was REALLY angry she would discipline in on the spot or when people complain about my bad behaviour she would discipline me in front of them. (I think it was because she wanted to keep face and show that she was doing something)
I found this very shameful and embarrassing especially when it was infront of other people.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saing that caning is wrong, I think it has done me a great deal of good, as I am a much better person now because of it, and its all thanks to my mums and aunty's love and strict discipline.

I don't get cane as much now cus I am older now, but when it happens I just feel very awkward especially when there are people around.

I just want to know if any other forum members have samilar experiences and how do you deal with it?

Devil1976 SG

You mean they still canning you when you're 31..?? Shocked

shade343 SG

Are you rebellious? Question

Asianguy7 SG

I feel so ashame

The last time i got cane was 2 years ago.

But the mood has not change, many times my mum or aunt would threatened to cane me, but because it was minor things she did not do it in the end.

I am worried that if I did something really wrong, they would actually do it.

This is the only place I can talk about it, when i talk to someone in real life people look at me funny and say "wah u mean at this age also still get cane ah?"

So I have not told anyone since. But the forum is anonymous so its good.

^spidee^ SG

Have you talked to your Mum or Aunt about it? They ought to know that you are no longer a child and shouldn’t discipline you the way they discipline children..

Asianguy7 SG

I wouldn't say i am rebellious but I am argumentative.

ok maybe I am rebellious....

Asianguy7 SG

I have talk to them about it.
I keep telling them I am too old to be cane. But they say to me if you behave like a child then you should be treated like one.

Sometimes its not the behaviour, sometimes is like if I failed my uni exam (I am studying in AUS at the moment) then I am sure to get cane, once I left the window open and the rain wet the carpet and spoit a $3000 computer, so I got cane for that also.

^spidee^ SG

Anyone else at home to side with you?

Asianguy7 SG

No one to side with me, I am an only child, maybe thats where the problem is. Always different for families with only child.

Are there any members out there who have similar problems that can share your experiences and how you deal with such a situation?

nightsky87 SG

I think you should learn to speak up for yourselves.

I am sure you are now at the age when you know what you're doing, and even though you make mistakes, it would do you more good if both of you can rationalise your problems out in an adult manner, and not by physical infliction.

And by the way caning can be considered child abuse. Of course, most of the time the child does not know this.

sgboy2004 SG

u guy or gal?

Showing butt butt to others in public is indecent exposure leh

dragg SG

you are 31 years old?

they cane you?

FeowFeow SG

You're in uni & you're still getting caned? Shocked Honestly, I can't meddle in your family affairs, but my view is that, this isn't normal, nor is it common. Most parents stop caning their children for every little thing by the time they're 12 or 13... Perhaps fathers may be harsh & may still give an occasional beating (sons start fighting back eventually anyway), but I've Not heard of mothers & aunties still caning after the children reach their early teens Confused

FeowFeow

Hele1668 SG

Shocked Canning is a last resort 2 do when in terms of discipline.So wat if u canned d child,will d child listen,no right? they become more rebelious.

Well, as 2 adults, they r grown up, canning is a no .It's not a gd solution,best is sit down & talk.

My mum nevers canned me only once, I had stayed in school till ard 6pm then i go home i had forgotten 2 call her,whe is so worried tat i we lost or wat,tat time i was only Pri.3 Shocked

Kennerve SG

Dude.. There is really really something wrong and you ought to sort it right.. Caning is in the pretext of discipling a child who misbehaves and the person who is looking after him/her wants to set things right.

At 31 if you are still being canned, than i think there is still canning, something is really wrong. I think most of us here... On average.. The last time we got cane was back when we are in our primary sch days. For stricter family, maybe sec 1 or the max till sec 2.. NOT 31 YEARS OLD.

We have no right to interfer in your family. But because of spoiling a $3K comp, does not give them the green light to cane you.

Another possibility that you are canned may due to the fact that in your aunt or mum's eyes, you are still a kid and never grew up. Stand on your own feet and prove to them that you do not need to rely on them. Reliance on an elder may tell them indirectly that you are incompetent.

ghimpheng SG

you should tell them to stop it right now ! you have grown up enough is enough if you are rebellious should talk to you nicely and pray for you instead of caning I don’t think caning can do Much effiency @ all

Asianguy7 SG

I agree with some of what has been said. Although sometimes I deserve it, I think i am too old to be discipline in front of others.

But i dun think sec 1 and 2 is when most parents stop caning their kids. I saw my cousin getting cane when she was 21. I think she also got cane when she was older but she never say.

I keep telling them I am too old to be cane, but they always say if you behave like a child then you should be treated like one.

I think my aunt and mum does see me still as a child. They are always telling me what to do, do this and that.

I think its because I look alot younger than my age, and maybe I am immature for my age too.

But isn't it disrespectful to go against your elders? Especially if they mean well? afterall its for my own good anyway.

thanks for all the advice. but I am not sure if going against them is right. After all they look after me when i was young, and the reason they do it is for my own good, I mean, they won't discipline me if they didnt care..... so its seems wrong to go against them somehow.

very confuse.

Ayukat SG

When I was younger... 4 - 8 years old bah... I would hide the cannes behind the cupboard... Rolling Eyes Then when I was 9 - 11 years old bah... I would break the cane in front of them and throw it away. That time, I was thinking no point hiding it behind the cupboard, I must show them I won't let them push me around.

They never did canned my sister though... becos I trainned her to resist... Rolling Eyes Now she's a 1000 times more spoiled than me, even I can't stand it... you beat her also no use...

^spidee^ SG

Seriously, the people who make canes must be sadistic.. Laughing

LazerLordz SG

This is not about elders and crap.This is about aggravated assault man..you are 31.You are an adult.

Just stand up to them and tell them off.Breaking the cane will do the trick.How the hell in this world does a 31 year old MAN get caned by ladies...