[quote]Originally posted by Peanut Butter:
does counselling really helps? my parents are the type who
are very sensitive to other people's help. they always think that
strangers are trying to cheat them or something.
I don't think counselling is something that helps in the short
term. My parents were also uncomfortable with the idea of talking
to some counsellor.. and its like.. geez.. what makes them think
they are smarter than us and can help us??? The most difficult part
is to get them TO the counsellor in the first place. In an asian
society, where 'face' is very important, it is very very
difficult.
BUT talking to a non-judgemental, unbiased stranger is good cos a
counsellor is a trained listener. A good counsellor can help them
to sort out their own confused emotions, and understand the reasons
why they are frustrated with each other.
it might be easier if it was only my father flaring up but
the problem is both of them like to get angry from time to time,
thus causing all the trouble. if i have siblings, it might be
easier too, but the problem is i am the only child.
Yes and No ba.. for me.. my mom was like a terrorized victim. She
was suffering from a nervous breakdown etc etc. If both gets angry,
at least both are managing to get their emotions 'purged'...
Sometimes non violent anger is also a form of communicating that
your parents have not 'given up' on each other, and are still
struggling to communicate, even if they are not doing well at
it.
I guess with a sibling you can have someone to confide in. But if
your sibling is younger than you, and may not understand the
situation, you may have to play good child plus good brother/sister
too. Juggling protective roles is not something many people can
handle easily.
-pat pat ur head- Take time out when you must. And Unless you are
very sure you can play a mediator role, the best is not to take
sides, even if one party 'forces' you to, cos chances are, it will
turn them against each other. Ultimately you know both your parents
love you. Their relationship problem is something they need to
struggle with themselves.
Be handy with the tissue, your presence, a listening ear, a
nonjudgemental mind, a cup of tea, and a lot of love and respect.
At least when they are sorting out their own problems, you won't
add on to their burden. 
That's all a filial child can do.
