Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't
prepared for the worst answer.
In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness to the stand. The witness was a grand motherly,
elderly woman.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs.Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known
you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never
will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I
know you."
The Lawyer was stunned.
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,
"Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking
problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his
law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to
mention he cheated on his wife with three different women, one of
them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and in a
very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she
knows me, I'll throw you in jail for contempt."
