Need some advise. Thanks!

powerstation27 SG

My ex broke up with me 9 months back, and I stayed not to stay in contact with her. She wanted to remain friends with me, but I didn't want to, knowing that it will hurt me more.

She got a new guy, but she refused to talk about her new guy. Recently, she sent me an email to ask how am I, saying that actually wanted to call me to see how am I, but didn't do so, cos I told her that I didn't want to remain friends with her.

I replied to her email and also asked her how is her new love life. Now no reply.

I don't know what is on her mind and why did she refuse to mention her new love life to me.

Can someone tell me what is on her mind??

Sekundes SG

I do smell a rat in this kind of situation, but it lies in your understanding of the gal.

Maybe if you do not want to do with her anymore, you should give a her a phone call. Just telling her that u rather not be friends anymore and be true to yourself.

The prob here is why are u so keen on knowing her love life ?

revvieeee SG

it’s got nothing to do with you now actually, unless you’re desperate to patch up with her.

smudgey SG

just let it be.... sometimes ppl initiate to do a catch up session... but backed out on their own....

maybe she just wanted to know how you are doing, maybe she is not doing very well and misses you, maybe she just want to get you thinking about her again,

there's millions and millions of "maybe"s but the actual reason/s only she will know (sometimes she herself does not know)...

point is that. if you REALLY want to find out, call her.

If not, wait and see if she'll get in touch again.

Miaka SG

Maybe she just wants to know how you are gettin on.... But she doesn't wanna get too close to you too cos she doesn't want you to get the wrong idea. I think that's the case...

And she doesnt' talk to you about her love life cos she doesn't want you to feel hurt also lah... if my ex talk to me about his new gf.. i will jealous also leh! Not cos i love him.. but if that person is better than yourself, you wll feel jealous de lah. Crying or Very sad

Tier SG

Its really difficult to tell you about her new love life.

Because by telling you that she is wonderful with her current bf, she will be afraid that you may get hurt.

She cant say to you any good or bad about the relationship because she may be afraid what kinda reaction it will have on you.

choco B SG

Just forget it. She’s not interested in you and you have no future with her.

powerstation27 SG

I am not holding on to any hopes that she will come back to me again and I am also not asking anything from her. It's just that not long after we broke off, she ever told me before that she had got another guy. At that time, I was still trying to win her back, but she was telling me that she is very happy with that guy already.

I mean at that point, if she can tell me that she is so happy with that guy, why can't she still tell me the same now also? Kinda confused!

Devil1976 SG

Of course you're confused. Thought you're the one who said you don't wanna remain as friends with her and you won't be able to take things? Why so much 'pattern' now?

Apollo_sg SG

obviously she need appetiser besides the main course... good grief, now she is bored with him just like she was bored with u.

starblue SG

if she dun want you to ask, then dun ask the next time loh..
if you dun want to keep in touch with her, just reply minimally loh...

no point hurting over a past hurt. Wink

smudgey SG

maybe things are not going too well with her guy? maybe she just do not wanna talk to you about it...

Devil is right, you are the one who do not wanna remain friends... so why are you so affected? why don't you just let the sleeping dog lie? she'll talk when she's ready.

^HaRu^ SG

she’s playing mind games with u..

kiekie SG

Hahaha... i can tell u STRAIGHT---------------------> in ur face that she wants to test ur feelings. SHe wants to know if u still have feelings for her anot.

Mayb she finds her current bf not really the kind of guy she wants and because mayb she's the one who hurt u, therefore, from time to time, she felt that she still has some feelings lingering....around.

Tell her u r getting on fine and very happy with ur life now. Cuz u can have your own freedom to do watever u want.. (Tat's to hint her indirectly that u r GREAT w/o her existence!!) If she hears that she will pretend to be happy for u but deep in her heart, who knows? Mayb she's jealous or angry that u r getting on so well w/o her!

Pls draw a line btw her. Once bitten twice shy u know!! Good luck!!

drx SG

why u did both of u break up in the first placE?

Yunhaier SG

Does it matter what is on her mind?

You two are already on your own separate path and since you have chosen not to remain friends, does it matter if she has a new guy, if she decide to play mind games with you or if she check you out?

Or you prefer to play those mind games with her? And get yourself into a state of confusion and madness? Idea

Cheers

browniebaobao SG

Perhaps they are no longer together and she juz wana be frens with u bcos of the good old times u had together?

JuzMy2Cts SG

Hi PowerStation,

Imho its rather impossible for two who recently broke up to actually start talking about becoming/remaining as friends... too much confusion, lingering emotions, hopes, fears, false hopes (and the list goes on) involved...

thinking back it took me months and even years to get over my past relationships... when you will actually feel you are able to have your ex back as a friend you will never know... for me it was like out of the blue as i thought of them and i suddenly realised that hey! its was right that we broke up and its better than forcing things on...

now i just hope they are living their lives good... and the next time i see them on the streets i will give them a good smile without any need for words... i personally feel thats the time your ex truly becomes a friend to you and you are truly ready for a new relationship...

Instead of thinking about what she's thinking, sort out your own feelings first...

good luck Smile