Hello Yonghao
I really feel for you. I am sure at a later point of time, there
will be people telling you to be yourself and how the right girl
will come later. But I am offering you the last throw of the dice
to win her over.
I cant guarantee you get that SL girl, but its worth a try.
But first of all, you must really realize where you failed to
impress her so that when you get another shot, you will not screw
up.
Reasons for her low interest in you:
1) You are a desperate guy in her eyes
Part I
At the initial stage of a courtship, you must make SL wonder about
you. The more time she spends time thinking and wondering about
what you might be doing, the higher her interest level will be.
Then she will have a desire to know more about you.
But you are always available to her. You fetch her from work, you
kept hinting about hitching up with her. And you think by being
persistent, she should feel touched and she will suddenly realize
you are the one for her? Truth is, you are suffocating her. Imagine
a girl doing the same things you did
always available, always
hinting about a possible relationship, whatever interest you have
in her will evaporate as well.
2) You appeared desperate in her eyes
Part II
You placed SL on a pedestal and regard her as some kind of goddess.
You even declared your love publicly to let the whole world know
how wonderful and important SL is. The problem is when you start
treating someone like she is precious gold, she WILL think that she
is precious gold!
And the result? She will start to think, If I can get this guy to
be so interested in me, then I definitely deserve better than him.
That means you are always a back up guy to her. Never give her a
reason to believe she is better than you at the initial stage of a
courtship. You can hint about your interest but you must show by
your actions that you are equally happy without her
3) You appeared desperate in her eyes
Part III
The best way to get a girl interested in you is to show her what
you have to offer first.
SL is a young girl when you met her
she is probably still a young
lady now. Girls of her age look out for a few personality traits: A
fun guy to be with, cocky but humorous, confidence, strength (as in
not supplicating to women all the time and have his own opinion
about things) and looks obviously.
What you should have done is to display what you can offer to her
by showing some attention to her at first. Then, you withdraw and
take away some attention from her to confuse her and make her
wonder more about you. That will raise her interest level.
Your friend QW is an example of a cocky and full of himself type
of guy, he can keep SL interested for a while. She is attracted to
his confidence.
The other friend YH did not supplicate to her when he is
criticizing her mum, he says things as they appeared to him. He
doesnt seek to please her or seek her approval. She could be
intrigued by the strength and dominance he displayed.
And you? You showed her sincerity. Then you wondered why she is not
touched by it? But hey, my dog is sincere too, so what? If you two
are already in a relationship, then sincerity is very important to
her. If you are courting her, you have to display some of what you
can offer to her that will make her attracted to you, then she will
consider whether you are sincere. But you didnt show her enough.
Instead you vomited your emotions all over the place by declaring
how you wish to hold her hand?
Recommendation:
1) Cut her off. No more emails/phone calls/sms from you. Cut her
off to ensure that she must initiate contact with you. If she
doesnt initiate contact, her interest level is officially zero and
she doesnt even care whether you exist.
2) Be genuinely busy with something in your life. When she do
contact you, make sure your excuses are valid for why you have not
seen her or met up with her. You should in the meantime be pursuing
your own life and your hobbies. Self improvement is very important.
There is no point getting her if you dont have a life except
working.
3) Keep maintaining this pattern for a while so that she does more
of the initiating than you do. Keep your conversations light and
pick up key words she mentioned, then you expand the conversation
using those key words to keep her talking (a conversation is like a
tree with many branches). The key here is to keep her talking, then
be the one to end the call first. Make sure she doesnt suspect you
are lying about being busy.
When you are finally getting a chance to meet her alone, you are
going to show her fun and make sure she has a great time. No more
expressing your love or any thing like that. Dont try to advice
her if she mentions any relationship problems, concentrate on
showing her a good time
4) Keep pushing and pulling and maintain this pattern. Observe
carefully whether she is treating you any differently. This time,
you are going to be VERY sure that she has interest in you before
you HINT about your interest. HINT means you dont overdo it!
Remember what I said about how your desperation puts you out of the
game.
5) Be willing to lose her. This is the final throw of the dice
really.
