Chapter
10
It was one month ago since I last saw her on MSN.
She seemed very busy
too busy in fact, to be online. Or maybe she
is avoiding me because my mum probably told her mum something bad
about me and Snowy got to know about them. Damn!
Ok, I promised to brush my teeth before consuming breakfast from
today onwards
I promised I would not pee over the toilet seats
I
promised to wash my hands after every toilet session
I promised
not to eat on my bed
Self delusion.
I should have guessed it; I am not the kind of guy for her. With
looks like hers, how would she fall for someone as ordinary like
me? Snowy probably have suitors, the length of the Macdonalds
Hello Kitty crazed-queue and I still wouldnt be surprised. For a
guy who doesnt have much luck in love, doesnt have the boy band
look, doesnt have much eloquence to sweet talk
isnt rich
fare
badly for his studies WHAT kind of boyfriend could I sell myself
to her?
Nothing.
I resisted the negative thoughts internally. Not that I could
possibly help it, but in the midst of uncertainty and mixed
messages, there was absolutely nothing I could hold on to believe
and to make me think otherwise.
It was terrible. My most feared nightmare of having to remove my
daily MSN routine away with her.
I dropped a few forwarded SMSes previously, but there wasnt any
reply from her. I concluded that it was because she must have
thought that there wasnt a need to reply forwarded SMSes
personally
just like our forwarded emails.
I need to call her.
Hesitation and negativity is preventing me from doing it.
Why?
Why am I plucking the roses, when I know the thorns are there? Why
must I deliberately scorch myself, when I know the fire is
dangerous? Why must I love
when I know that hurt is
inevitable?
But I refused to succumb to circumstances; I supposed I shouldnt
believe in behavior without explanation. There are no smoke without
fire - something must be wrong somewhere. I may have overlooked
certain issue, without realizing it or there could be something
affecting her emotionally.
I must get to the bottom of everything.
I dialed her mobile.
I reached her voicemail.
Sigh
Maybe, I am right after all. She must have been avoiding me
because she didnt want to lead me into thinking that I may have a
chance with her, when in fact, there isnt one to begin with.
I can feel my vision getting watery.
Then my mobile vibrated and I almost got a shock.
Meet me at the park at 8 p.m.
(To be continue...)
