Confuse

Confuse2005 SG

Hi! there's something that has been bothering me for wks, hopefully u guys can provide some advise.

I've known her for 3 yrs but only really close to her for the past 4 mths. It's all started when her father had passed away ( her mum passed away 10 yrs ago)and her best friend is away overseas for study. So for that period of time, a few of us take turn to keep her company so that she won't feel alone and down.

At the same time, during this difficult time her boss gave her some hard time and difficult assigment and we were even closer as I'm the only one in the group who is working. I try to be there and give her advise whenever she is bitter abt her situation. We meet and sms/msn almost everyday. I'm not sure when but then I find myself thinking about her often. And slowly I find myself develop feeling for her. U may asked what's the problem but then the problem is I'm a female.

Though I never have a relationship before I'm sure I'm not a lesiban till now (I'm still not sure) Yes, I did have a crush on my female sec school teacher but then it's just a growing up phase.

The worse thing is I try to match her w/ my guy friend (she doesn't know) so whenever I can I try to drag my friend along for dinner with her.
But my heart feel like bleeding inside.....
I feel like betraying my friend....arghhh.....

I didn't how far did I cross over the line till last wk when she at the last min did not make it for dinner , I called her and tell her I'm angry. When she asked me why... I was speechless.... She's right, I dun have the right to be angry.

From tt day onwards, I try to distance myself from her but then today she msn abt her problem. And all the advise went out of the window.... Haiz......

And the most "fan" thing is I will be going on holiday with her and the other friend in another 3 weeks time. (Btw, my guy friend will be tagging along) I'm not sure how to face her....

Should I still continue to be her friend or do I just avoid her as much as I can.....

Pls help as this is affecting my mood and work.... I do not have enough leave or I really want to take some time off and organise my thought....

SMAPLionHeart SG

Are you a guy or a gal?

Straighten out your thoughts lah...

rogue13 SG

She already mentioned in para 3 that she is fenale. Don't juz reply for replying's sake pls.

Magnus SG

Guess your feelings for her went overboard.
u are too caught up with her problems, and being a nanny.

In trying to help her, you got yourself too emotionally involved.
It's easy to mistaken it for something else as it have all the fundamentals of love there. There's no gender-to-gender restriction in regards to love, jealousy, possessiveness, only degrees of it.

At different phases of our life, we need different friends.

Who knows, when her situation is better, she got her own life up and running and may even have forgotten about you.

Devil1976 SG

Do you want to continue to help her?

Well.. If you do, chances are... You'll have to straighten out your thoughts...

Why think the 'EXTRA'...?

In fact, it's not uncommon for a friend to get angry with another when he / she is quite deeply attached to that person... Shouldn't be having the wrong ideas...?

Yunhaier SG

Lesbianism.

You did recognise that you had a 'growing up' phrase during secondary school, but how sure are you that it is merely a growing phrase that you have GROWN out of it... or is it something deeper?

I had a causal friend, who is a closet lesbian - which means she never knew that she was one UNTIL so much later (20++). When she did enter her first lesbian relationship, all these suppressed emotions just exploded.

There are a few questions, in which I hope, you can answer me:

I) How is your relationship with your mother?

II) Ever fall for guys before? Any previous relationship?

III) What's your astrological sign?

P.S: If it is possible, how is your home environment like? Your early childhood (first 13 years of your life)? Any significant conflicts with dad as well? Idea

Cheers

Ayukat SG

Confuse must find confusion.

sggirl_2005 SG

i think it alright to have feeling for the same sex.
As long as you keep it pure. No physical involvement
easy said than done i know.

Devil1976 SG

Shouldn't be too eager to push towards that 'conclusion'?

It has been proven that it's quite psychologically common for people to develop a same gender 'liking tendency' at certain phase of our younger age.. In her case was for a teacher.. A further more likely case of 'liking' for someone whom she looked upon and respect...