Break or not to break

last SG · 2005-08-21T01:47:22+00:00

Thanks. I cannot stand my loved one shouting at me. I'll be damn hurt.

drx SG

Got a case I wish to share with you people.

Background data:

Guy A = 24

Girl B = 24

both working class

Relationship : 3 years

Friends :1 years

Problem:

Been friends with both of them for 5 years. Quarrel and break, quarrel and break till the cows come home. Quite sianz of the cycle till one day, they decided to ROM. pengz I thought finally it will end. Girl B come crying to me saying that guy A bullying her again and is 1 week before her ROM.

So should I:

1) tell her nicely that everything is fine

2) shout at her to stop her childish act and get ready to be someones wife,

3) tell guy A to come and settle things with her.

4) let her cry it out loud and say is just your stress and sent her home.

5) Ask her to go out to enjoy herself cos she looks to stress

BrUtUs SG

bully? how? abuse her? scold her badly? if she cant take these things better dun carry on…

No_Problemo SG

It better to ask the 2 of them to settle all the issues before ROM. Look into the root cause is easier to solve this problem

kaobeikaobu SG

guess u shld let them solve their problems between themselves...if they can't how are gona face solve any when they live together..

with the state they are in now, rom seems to be a hasty decision.

drx SG

never beat her lar,
same lor quarrel again lor haiz
Girl B complain and complain say want to break.
Managed to calm her down and brought her home.

Yunhaier SG

That is NEVER a good ground for marriage. If this happens to any known good friends, I will definitely object the marriage. Can't even handle BGR, with certain degree of maturity, and wanna move onto marriage?

BGR is lacking so much elements to maintain harmony, lets not pretend that a marriage could change everything - in fact, it doesn't and worst, it implicate more tension within. There are many levels in couple's argument, but a constant break-patch style of communication NEVER promote marriage harmony. Very difficult ground to steer and maneuver... Uranus too strong. Idea

Cheers

No_Problemo SG

If both party can just simply give up on the r/s, I would suggest a cooling period and ask both of them to think hard before commit any further. What if after ROM, either 1 just say divorce when involve in a quarrel.

drx SG

Who ever listern to good advise nowdays?

haiz try and try to advise them but they still go ahead.

Now just wait and see lor.

What to do.. people always want to learn the hard way.

Tuatau SG

Originally posted by drx:
Who ever listern to good advise nowdays?

haiz try and try to advise them but they still go ahead.

Now just wait and see lor.

What to do.. people always want to learn the hard way.

That pretty much sums up the story of this forum, too.

Anyagerger SG

I guess it is not a good foundation for a marriage if they continue to quarrel like that ... I have a few frens who are like that ... and eventually got married... however eventually file for divorce.

dragg SG

obviously she is not matured enough to get married.

Parka SG

People are blind when in love.

Devil1976 SG

I don't understand the marriage part.

x 2 on the blue part though?

mistyblue SG

If you are not Guy A, you should not get yourself involved in other people's relationship.

Wink

Magnus SG

This particular sentence caught my eye.

What's the things they normally quarrel about?
Does it indirectly involves u?

starblue SG

i agree with Yun jie.. break-patch r/s are the most painful form there is... i've sort of went through somethng like this and i can tell you, marriage isn't going to work out for this couple. they should thrash things out once and for all. and you, as a thrid party, should never be involved in this. you might make things more complicated, in ways you can never imagine... Wink

Komon SG

er i think let them settle their things themselves lar

as for u the thing that u can do is confort her

drx SG

I also do not wish to be in the case but both side always come to me for advice.
No need to worry I am not involved with any one of them just like a friend to both of them.
I am something like a middleman.

They quarrel almost on everything.

!) which pet to keep
2) why she know more guy friends.
3) why he always go out with girls.
4) why she cannot wear this dress.
5) why he always late.

The worst part my hp kena bomb by both side.
Faints

mistyblue SG

tell both party very firmly to work the issue out themselves
And turn off your HP/Del all nonsense message from them
Remember you are not their "support", counsellor, social worker, mediator or message passer

If they do not see you as a person outside of the relationship and see you more as a friend ... then there is really no point to get your life all messed up over other people's problems when you have enough of your own.

M©+square SG

like i've said? know yr limits?