hi all.. been spectating here for awhile and seen that some
people give really good advice, so i'm trying my luck here.
been really frustrated these days, actually months.. but i don't
show it. deep down inside i feel like talking to someone, but i
have no one that trustworthy to turn to.
here goes:
we have been going out together for about 8 months already, and she
was my first although i've known about her ex since we got
together. At first, I couldn't accept it, as he was so much older
than she or i was.. and I can't help getting the feeling that he
got into it just to use her for it. She claimed that they went out
for almost 3 years. Are all men like that? 10 years difference to
me is alot, probably because of my conservative up-bringing.. but
this kinda stuff really sickens me.. no offence but it seems that
way to me..
I thought that i would get through it and accept it. I know, as
what most of you would say: If you love her, then you would accept
her for who she is. I've tried to, but sometimes it comes back to
irk and bother me. so much so, that I know that I'm starting to
drift away from her. I really do love her, and i want to feel the
same way as before when we first went out.
Problem is, recently he contacted her. I had this burning urge to
@%#$ him, but she said just leave him alone. Actually, since the
day she mentioned about him, I had wanted to get him, to seek
'revenge' for hurting her so badly.. and coming in-between our
relationship. Although I do not know him at all, and he is much
older than I am.
Why i say he is coming in between us, is that sometimes.. some
actions that i do 'remind her of him', and that gets her all
depressed and sensitive.
At first it was worse, she didn't dare to trust me. She was afraid
that i'd do the same to her. Sometimes when we get intimate, i can
sense that she is still affected and hurt by him... and she does
not give her all
i really don't know much about her past, as i do not dare question
far for i fear of hurting her again. I know that she regrets it
badly. She said that she made that choice, and that now she's
paying for it. It pains me to see her in such misery.. I wished i
could do something... something for the both of us. I really want
to go furthur with her.
I know that it's alittle messy.. that's the state of my mind, but i
hope you get the picture. so my question is: How do i get over
this? I feel that the only way is to confront him and give him a
piece of my mind, but i know that's almost impossible. I want him
out of the picture forever. I wish that memories can be erased, the
past can be forgotten.
thanks for reading.
