Hi Jane,
I think u are emotionally confused and take ur son as a sort of
companion/ comfort/ partner (including the sexual aspect), and as
someone has said, ur son might be confused as well and think he is
like some kind of partner too. (including the sexual aspect).
I think in this situation, it's not entirely a sexual matter, like
a sexual addiction/ sexual behaviour matter only, but also a
problem of roles/ emotional issues.
U won't be able to stop the sexual issues if u don't sort out and
solve ur bigger issue too.
I think deep down u know something is wrong, and alarm bells are
ringing in ur head.
You need to find a solution. I'm sure u can.
My suggestion:
1. Get some alone time and reflect.
2. Assess whether u have emotional and roles issues in ur
relationships, especially with ur son, and ur son towards u.
If the answer is yes, then:
1. Find ways to balance ur relationship with ur son, and ur son
towards u, and make it a healthy relationship.
.....
If I may be honest, basically u are too isolated. Ur son too. The
two of u live in ur own little world and get too attached, and
confused.
Get outside and enlarge ur world. You are substituting ur 'man'
with ur son. You have a natural longing for a partner, emotionally
and sexually. In this sense, there's nothing wrong with this
longing. It's natural. What's unnatural, is, you should get a real
partner, and not substitute him with the nearest available
alternative, who is ur son. You shouldn't channel ur longing to ur
son.
Ur son is confused too. It has reached a stage where he even wants
to have sex with u, he thinks u are a beautiful woman with a good
body. It has reached a stage where u get jealous when his
classmates come.
U have to change ur 'spousal' relationship with ur son into a
purely 'parental' relationship. There is no other way.
I suggest changing ur environment. Get to know more people. Let ur
son too.
Ur son is shy and doesn't have many friends, it might be because of
this situation affecting his personality. Im sure he is confused,
disoriented and carrying a burden. Teenagers are already generally
confused. This situation makes it worse. Im sure he doesn't tell
people that he has oral sex with his mum. This is a huge secret and
huge secrets is a big burden.
Hope u can steel urself and find a solution, for u and ur son's
good.
And....be more assertive. Your son is not ur equal partner. You are
older, u should be more decisive. You are more mature, u know what
u must do. So don't get soft-hearted with ur son. What you're doing
is for ur, and his, own good.
