maybe i'm thinking too much??

last SG · 2005-06-27T03:44:07+00:00

yes, you think too much. the whole idea of DATING is to find out being in a relationship is to try to work things out. you cannot have quality if you dont...

NoTimeToWaitAr SG

hi guys, this is my 1st post... i hv a problem, hope u guys will help mi.

i am currently a poly student. But fm pri till now, I haven been in a relationship b4. Most of my frenz hv gf or bf, but whenever i told them i didnt hv 1, they dun believe it. I told them that i prefer freedom rather than being tied by BGR, which is one of the reason. The other reason is that i dun like the feeling of being alone, be it with a gal/guy. Unless the gal/guy and i hv some common interest. Overall i like being in a grp.

Indeed i would like to hv a relationship. But fm wat i know, mostly these kind of relationship will end in ard 1 or 2 yrs time, unless the guy and gal love each other very much. So wouldn't it be a waste of time to contribute so much time in a relationship that will not last forever?

Actually there are some of the gals who hv told mi or hint mi that they are into mi, but i do not hv the courage to start this relationship.

Am i abnormal or am i tinkin too much?

i'm a guy who prefer quality than qualitity.

hope you guys out there cou;d give mi some advice.

rainee SG

Going into a r/s does not mean it will end like a fairytale, does not mean both of you will be guaranteed to have a happily ever after life.

You can only put in effots, give all your best, have trust in each other and hope that it will work out.

It is worth the risk of getting hurt just because you never know, she might be the one for you.

Yunhaier SG

Like many who have yet to step into a proper BGR yet, you think too deep into what love is like without experiencing it. I used to have such thingy many fringing` years back (Venus in Virgo) and realise it was detrimental when I recalled now. You will eventually come to realise that love feels with the heart, not explored by the brain. Your surfacing exploration would only touch other people's lesson, not neccessary yours.

It's probably the same when I throw you a hypothetical scenario on how you would react when certain things happen in a relationship (say when you fell in love with a smoker and you disdain the idea of a lady smoker ALOT... a christian falling in love with a non-christian and worries about the religion conflicts... etc). Your answer MAY not reflect what you would do when exact scenario sprung up.

You are like in an isle, eyeing on the mainland from where you are standing. You have all the ability and resource to make that little boat to sail to where you desire to reach, but it's always the unknown and fear of the uncharted water that hinders your desire.

But of course, say if you are not interested in the people around you currently, there is nothing wrong with you NOT reacting even to their liking. A big however is when someone suitable comes along, do not succumb to your resistance, fear and false thoughts. You may come to regret severely in the future. Idea

Cheers

Vidvin SG

no pain no gain...

it applies to everything be it love or work or friends...

you can't tell if an orange is sweet or sour just by starring at it... you have to taste it...

good luck

Vidvin

mochou SG

just do it.

even later she dump u or u dump her, or watever reason things dont work out fine, it's good to have the experience. Of cos it's good if happy ending comes.

"hua kai kan zhe zhi xu zhe, Mo dai wu hua kong zhe zhi"

heard of these two lines form a chinese poem before??Dun wait until "no flower" u only take the branch.

mercurialz SG

hi there... i suppose u are influenced too much the "horror" stories that ur frens have related to u... although there are pple who go into a r/s only to break it up within weeks or even days, there are also a large majority who are still together even aft 4-5 yrs of courtship...

from a very personal pt of view, i feel that u need to know the gal well first b4 asking her to go into a r/s with u... u will also need to ask urself if u r prepared to handle the ups and downs of a r/s, that is, u dun juz shun away or request for a break up when things are not going as smoothly as b4... u must be prepared to put in time n effort - to maintain r/s, as well as to know the gal in greater depth...

to start a r/s is ez, to enjoy the ups of the r/s is ez, but not many youngsters are prepared to face the trials of a r/s... i have seen it for myself, from pple ard me...

so wat i can say is that itz great to know that u r not hurrying things... take things in ur stride, n i wish u all the best... Wink

dcx SG

Sometimes in life, if you don't try to do it, you'll never know what is it....so far, all heard from frens?

If you don't feel like going into a relationship, so be it...why's there a headache or confusion of whether shld have a r/s or not....

kingcuttlefish SG

Go match making agency. They are fun and worth the time.

sgmen SG

IMO, You are not abnormal or thinking too much, you are just pure inferior.

You must have some flaws that only people close enough to you knows, face it. (eg; sweaty palms or short dick, whatever.)

If what you said is true, i believe you must belong to those Good-Looking-Guys group, whose ego is so big they cannot handle Fear Of Rejection, so they wait for very very obvious signal from georgeous ladies (whom u call "The One" ), which probably only happens in your dream.

And when it happens, your inferiority complex of your personal flaw stopped you from going into deeper relationship again.

Come'on, you've got to face yourself before you can face others.

Cheers. Wink

Magnus SG

There's no need to hurry.
It simply means the right girl have not come into your life yet.

When it does come, you will know.

starblue SG

gosh… this guy feels the same way as me about r/s… but i guess you people are right… just dun think too far and “know” that r/s will never last, so why bother getting into one… i guess when it comes, it comes…

M©+square SG

You're one confusing girl at this time.
Hope you'll be enlightened soon. Wink

starblue SG

you mean i am confusing people or i am confused myself??? lolz...

shade343 SG

Pls do a spell check before you post.

I dont see anything wrong with not having a gf or bf at this age. So ,no, you are not abnormal. In fact, I would say that you are a smart person who goes for quality.
Wink

Pion SG

hmm..ur thinking bout quality vs quantity seems right. Perhaps ur attitude need some work. U cant just expect ur dream girl to fall out frm the sky onto ur hands~

binZ SG

no worries.. sometimes life is like tat.. we are pretty similar ina lot of ways..
im 24 this yr ler.. i also dun have a gf before.. and im fairly good looking. Embarassed tat make it harder for most people to believe. Mr. Green

Personally, like u, i believe in quality than quantity.. when im still schling, also got people ask me before leh.. haha~ but im young mah~ so errm.. a bit bo chap... plus there was a number of problems im having at tat time. Smile

Anyway i also dun like being alone at all. i rather stay at home than go out alone. heh~ Smile

Bu u must also know youth is precious.. im not asking to "try" out relationships or anything.. but if there is a girl u like fairly well.. or more than other girls u know, i suggest u give it a try.. no one can predict how long a relationship lasts.. even being together for many yrs, doesnt necessary mean greater understanding. who knows how things might end up? but if u nv try, u nv know.. and u will always have regrets..

Anyway everything is ur choice.. its ur life.. once u take any opinon, u must be prepared to face all the consquences that comes with it. Think very hard before u make any decisions. U are young now.. and remember u are looking for a gf.. not a wife.. so no worries. (this is something, i sort of forgot when im younger =P im a perfectionist! one gf>wife enough liao~ haha~~ )

happypiglet SG

haax...same mindset too Wink

parn SG

I think you have already told us the answer to your question. So I'll rearranged it for you. Smile

"Indeed i would like to hv a relationship, but i do not hv the courage to start this relationship." -> Taken separately from what you've wrote above, I took the liberty to merge them. Smile

You are not abnormal at all, it's perfectly normal for you to be feeling this way. Please take note that your reason to your friend for not having a relationship is merely your EXCUSE to prevent people from thinking that you're weird. Don't tell them that, cos if they're stupid enough to believe you...they won't bother to introduce you to other girls. If they are sharp enough, they would have guessed your real reason anyway.

If you've realised that you need courage, you should also realised that you'll need to find it within yourself.

Tell us your fears and we will try to leviate for you. Smile

Good luck. Smile
[/b]

panicTheory SG

Originally posted by parn:

Tell us your fears and we will try to leviate for you.

Good luck.
[/b]

Smile Nice deduction. Sometimes the most obvious things are always there waiting to be picked out. I thought abt the same thing myself but couldnt do the quotes thing. Hahaha

Hope everything takes a change soon for him.

mahai102 SG

having a relationship with you is more like living a nightmare...that you never seem to be able to wake up from...

Crying or Very sad