Originally posted by Yunhaier:
You see, somehow you had shape your preception of
guys-relating-their-emotional-stuff = whining. You may not mean
exactly that word-for-word but that's the word you chose to
use. Although some are plain whining, majority
ain't. Guys are still flesh and blood... seen guys cry for real
painful emotional reasons. That kind of scene... seriously.. I
think it's a very different feel.
You see, I had shaped my perception of
"guys-relating-their-emotional-stuff = whining" because of your
remarks made earlier:
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
guys usually do
not preceive reality as a channel to voice their hurt because of
their Ego.
It is
precisely of their Ego that shaped not only mine,
but also many other guys' perception of
"guys-relating-their-emotional-stuff = whining". That is why, like
what you mentioned, they chose not to pour out their troubles in
front of their male friends, but sought refuge behind the veil of
anonymity in forums and message boards like this.
Yes, guys are still flesh and blood, and you may've seen a guy
crying, but he wouldn't be proud to declare to other people that
his problems were so painful that he had cried over them.
Guys generally don't like to see other guys crying, even if it is
for real painful emotional reasons. (That's probably also why guys
don't like letting other guys see them cry as well.) A guy can b
itch about his job, his boss, his parents, his wife, his
mistress(es), his kids, his impot... no, not that... his cancer,
his bankruptcy, even his own life in general, but it's all got to
be done in a way that other guys could accept -- like sincerely
asking for practical advice, and no wallowing in self-pity as if he
is the centre of the universe and absolutely "no more tears".
I know my choice of words sounds rather harsh, but it is cold hard
reality. Put the boys through two years of national service, and
most come out knowing that whining is not an option because "sad
stories are like asses -- everybody's got one". Forcing your own
personal story into people's ears isn't going to make it any sadder
than their own.
