ptw, I'm sure you must have felt really worse when she called
you on the pretext of concern and catching up to compare and
show-off to you how good she's doing right now. Yes, it's sad that
what she really wanted was to compare and do a little showing-off
to make herself feel better. But do not worry, she did that cos she
is feeling a little insecure about her decision to leave you. So
feel better cos she will definitely regret it in the future...be it
big time or small time. 
Don't worry about trying to make her understand your pain and her
heartless act, cos she will NEVER admit to it even when she's about
to die. And this gives you a very good reason to HATE her.
There's nothing wrong and ungracious in hating someone who
deserves to be hate, remember that. 
(That's
applicable in your case)
If you agree that humans are selfish species by nature, then you
will agree that what she did wasn't wrong...from her perspective.
She did cause you to experience unbearable intense searing pain
deeply scarred in your heart. And it really felt worse than dying,
cos both your body and soul is causing great pain to you. Believe
me, it doesn't felt that bad if your body wasn't causing you to
experience any of those heart pains. But you did felt a lot better
after your body drained you out of all those painful
emotions.
She did you wrong even though what she did was perfectly human and
there's nothing wrong in seeking for a better life and future for
herself.
Embrace hatred towards her as this is the lesson that you must
learn in this period of your life. If you let it go and forgive her
and blame yourself thinking that you will become a betterman, then
you are wrong. If you let this lesson go and didn't embrace hate,
you will lose this chance to learn this important lesson in your
life, and the same situation will keep on repeating itself like a
bad dream*dejavu loop. And when that happens, you will realised
that you haven't change or evolve in the way you perceive
things.
So trust me and embrace this hate till it became a normality and
part of you. You will definitely learn and realised some truth at
the end of this etching process. Everything happens for a
reason...most of it is unknown, and you will be a betterman if you
embrace this hate...and things will definitely appears to be a lot
more different to you.
I sincerely hope that you will overcome this lesson in your life
and find true happiness and peace within yourself, I'm sure that
you will if you didn't take a step backwards to try to forgive and
forget. Accept this hatred and move forward with it, whatever
things you may learnt out of this will certainly ensure that you
won't have to deal with this situation ever again and you have one
less situation/crisis to deal in your life.
Good luck, the good in life cannot be taught...they have to be
learnt.
