Should I let time past or should I go head-on?

service_238 SG

There is some friction between the 2 of us. but its just that neither of us are willing to address the problem openly.

well the girl's character is the dao kind but she's quite friendly and open if u know her better.

i like your solution 2. it goes right in line of my intentions but the contents that i initially thought was slightly different. Smile

I do not wish to involve the third friend. not that i dont trust her but it just seem not right.

Would she still be my good friend if things are cleared up or she will just treat me as a normal friend? its not easy to attain the "good friend" status of a person of the opposite gender.

Today is Monday. i didnt really talk to her, neither do i frequently look at her in the eye like i used to do. to me things seem to be gotten from bad to worse.

feel like asking her (and the third friend) to the movies on wednesday but i think she will reject.

movie is "i'll be there for you" "you suck" Cool

shaunlaw SG

Whether u will be good frens or not will have to depend, but most likely i will say u can only be normal frens, those see say hi, can work tog speak no more than a few words.

It is never easy to be good frens with anyone. Ur case is much more complicated. It would seem at the moment not possible until things take a turn for the better ( until she can really forget ur intentions but i doubt it.).

I can frankly tell u that if u ask her for a movie now, u will be in more hot soup and by then we will not be able to help u anymore.

Let things cool down, dun think abt chasing her and dun tok abt it for some time.

The best solution will be to give up. Not that I am pouring cold water on u but that is for the best if u wan to work well in the grp for ur sch project.

heavenlyfire SG

no please, no more movies, no more date, type or write your letter first , consult the third party friend, sometimes girl can talk to girl better. I don write ideas for no lesson.

yes, high chance you will get rejected unless you tell your third party friend what happen and what are your plans. don think you need to tell also.
girls talk to each other over such things,she should know by now. seek her advise, use her as an informant.

your friend character seems to be the typical chio bu lian style. maybe it is possible that you can still be friend with her but you only told me she is friendly, doesn help much in my prediction.

I must know her attitude towards "GUYS" friends. Whether she believe guys and gals can become good friend. does she have a lot of guy friends and other related stuff.

hope these advise help you further. CHEERS and good luck! Wink

service_238 SG

Thanks Smile

i kinda know her character rather well by now.

firstly, she said before that she keep secrets to herself. then again u may never know that the third friend knows about it.

her character is totally not lian at all. if not i wont be interested.

She's rather ok with the guy friends that she have. She's from a convent school for 10 years before coming here. almost 80% of her friends are girls. (just an estimate). Whether she believe guys and girls an be good friends is a questionable here. if she's from a co-ed school, i have no qualms about that. but she's from a convent school.. hard to predict also.

Letter drafted, edited and printed. it will make or break this friendship IMO. intend to pass to her after school today.

heavenlyfire SG

ok.give us an update if adverse reaction or consequences. good luck!

observer81 SG

"To my surprise, she gave a pleasant reply that she treats me "as a very good friend only". Personally it was the best reply she can give as i do not wanna risk into going into a relationship with her"

---> If she says about a good friend only... just forget about getting more than "a friend" to her ok... A girl usually wont tell anyguy "we're just friend" if she's interested to that guy, afraid that she will lose him and turn him off... "We're just a friend" means that she REALLY REALLY wants u to be a friend whom she can tell u about her problems, then can ask u to help her think about the solution.. or ask u when she needs help.. THAT's ALL...

"i bought a toy for her, thinking that she would like it. I passed to her after school in the bus.
The week that followed was almost the total opposite from the previous paragraph. She starts to keep her distance from me. She seldom talk to me. She replies to me sometimes in a very "reluctant" and "buay song" way".---> Actually i think a bit too rush... sounds to her like u already love her too much while she doesnt know u or even starts to think about u... U can only buy present for a potential girlfriend if you know clearly that she has already give u the signal that she likes u also.. otherwise.. don't buy anything.. flowers.. chocolate.. toys.. DON'T!!

"What do you guys think? Should I write her the letter and go head-on with this matter? or Should I just let time heal the wounds and hope she will stop keeping her distance from me"
It is better to do NOTHING for this time.. The more things u get for her will be worst.. will end up wont talk to u at all

shaunlaw SG

Its too late. Hes aready done it this time, intend to give her the letter of explanation.

I think hes too impulse.

Ito_^ SG

i think he shld TALKED to her face to face, make it clear dat they are juz friends.

shaunlaw SG

I jsut hope that he doesnt make things worse.

Devil1976 SG

Well.. From the way I see it, you at least let her know what is going on from your point of view and accepting the facts or not is really up to her... OR you can just leave things as bundled up as they are now.... It's not like the chances of the situation getting any better would be high anyway without you making any move... If you would have preferred that, by all means.....?

heavenlyfire SG

I don see what is wrong with writting a letter. sometimes writting a letter is good for the relationship, because some things in a relationship is difficult to say out. example,

the flaw or weakness of the opposite party

It is recommended in the book, "women from venus, men from mars" somethings is better expressed by word.

shaunlaw SG

Heavenlyfire, have u read this?

service_238 SG

yes i admit that i'm impulsive on my side to buy the toy. at that time, it didnt went thru my bloody brain and my heart just went ahead and do it.

anyway guys, something ironic happened on tuesday...

the letter was typed, printed and all ready to give her on the bus ride home. however, the day turned out to be rather ok. she started talking on friendly terms with me (means no sacastic comments or whatsoever) during project discussion and also during tutorial which followed.

on the way back we were talking abt schoolwork and stuff and it seems that things are back to normal again. it hinders me of giving the letter for fear that after that it will go back to the state i was in last week.

wednesday no comments cos nothing much happened. but at least she quite friendly to me now.

today.. normal day... the chats we have on the bus were at least decent and not sacastic. but i noticed that the chats were mainly schoolwork, very little on personal stuff..

i think we're starting from scratch again, like last semester.

shaunlaw SG

Thats good. Maintain it this way cos that is the way she wants to be, a fren with u and rem a fren only.

service_238 SG

yup Smile i shall treat her the way i did before. i shouldnt be greedy and ask for more since she quite ok with me.

thanks. Very Happy

Devil1976 SG

If you can better do it, chat with her about it rather than a letter....

If you can, get a hand-written letter than a typed one...

If you're simply just fully contented with how everything is now and expect nothing much to go wrong from here on, just keep things as they are...?

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