recently found that my life is very meaningful and seriously i
feel like something is missing, a sense of loneliness....and this
feeling occurs the most at night.
before i sleep, i think about tommorow. what is there to be done?
den followed by " what have i done today ", den " whats next for
the future?" when these questions start coming in, i feel very lost
and feel VERY VERY lonely. i wonder if any of you guys here have
experienced this before.
my days are very occupied. in fact, it's rather busy. i wake up for
school. and on a few days i have tuition. on weekends i have
badminton training and usually on a friday afternoon i would train
more badminton with my group of friends. and usually my nights are
spent chatting online or doing some work.
i told my brother about this problem. (younger bro). even though
his like younger i still sometimes talk to him, usually when he
shares his problems wif mi i share back wif him (sharing iz good
afterall rite? 
). sometimes i juz get amused by his cute
replies and some were surrisingly quite enlightening...
i was taken aback when he told me that this feeling of loneliness
is because i don't have a gf..or more specifically, someone i
like.
i remember posting somewhere down here about my problems in this
area, thanks to all for the advice, i have gotten over it....., and
have not liked anyone for almost like half a year.., it was tough
at first, to accept rejection, but finally it got really better
after i got over it.
i indudged myself in badminton during this period. playing like 4-6
hours everyday during the holidays. i do rest enough dun worrie.
and from someone who is regarded as a novice i managed to play up
to somewhere like say, school team level? not the best though but
somewhere around there.
recently been in slumpy modes, juz games where your brain juz
switch off and you can't continue moving. and when i think about
badminton i get depressed. (for this period of time, badminton used
to be my thought of inspiration)..and when i think of school, i
feel even worst. (who likes school anyway?). i do have my friends,
and my best friend, who is tons alot better than me, is progressing
SO quickly and every time i feel the gap widens by a siginificant
space. he even broke up with his gf to indulge himself his
badminton and aims to be a national player someday. lol, about
that, im not really sure if that is possible, for him, not to
mention us..
life without some happy memories, without any inspiring thoughts
can be really painful...., i mean how does it feel when everytime
you submerge yourself into thought and a quiet moment with
yourself, you get bombared with negative things. it can be really
really painful..
true i do feel that i'm not the extreme end of the unfortunates...,
and i should be happy with what i have, but life seems
meaningless.
back to the point (sry if i'm goin in circle) and before someone
may accuse me of beating around the bush, this is my process of
thoughts at the moment, whatever i think of, i type......what
you're reading is my thoughts at this current moment.
okie, (again), back to the point. about what my brother said. he
mentioned that i feel this is because i don't have someone i like,
(or love?). usually at worst cases when you're feeling down, juz
thinking about the person you like, can totally reverse all the
positive thoughts into negative thoughts..., juz by seeing her face
in your mind it feels like you'r revived.
i used to experience this, but since rejection i told myself not to
like other girls. and been goin around with this motto " love no
one except my racket " for sometime..
i'm approaching 16 this year...., and i believe all thw aunties
(and uncles?) in this forum would advice me not to go and waste my
time to like someone etc..
any solutions to my problems, i feel kinda lost. once in a while, i
nid something good to think of. thanks in advance
