tommylee SG I asked my girlfriend earlier during a chat to ask if i was tactless to her.... And her merely told me whether i am or not doesnt matter to her.... But what i want to know if im really tactless... I always assume that i am not.... And many of my friends assured me too.. I had always do the right time to do what and not to do what.... And i had show concern when she's upset or not feeling well.... And i had always give in whenever we quarrel.. So someone tell me if im really being tactless? And im really vexed.. Please dont post 'funny' replies....
parn SG I do agree with your gf. When she tells you that it doesn't really matters to her, you should listen and believe her. And that's the truth, it's really insignificant. So don't get frustrated over it. I understand you have your own standards and principles that you would like to fulfill, but it doesn't really matters at all to girls...trust me on that. Relationship is not really about performance and there is no exams for it. Very often, guys would love to live up to their own expectations and they assumed that is the very expectations that their gf wanted. But it wasn't true at all, girls had better and realistic expectations of their bf. So stop dwelling on it, you should be doing fine if you are able to constantly monitor your own performance in the relationship. However I would strongly advise you to stop monitoring your own performance in the relationship. Instead, please focus your attention to your gf whenever she may needs it. Oh...and please stop bugging her about your performance before it gets on her nerves. Good luck.
drx SG Why do u want others to prove that u r tactless? does it matter so much to u that u are tactless person?
starblue SG cos she loves him no matter wad? seriously, i think parn has a good point. don't force yourself to live up to your own expectation in a r/s. cos chances are, it's not wad gals are looking for. hell, you may not realise how much that sandwich you bought for her on your way to school means to her but she may feel like you're the most charming sandwich bearer there ever is.... as long as you see she's happy, you're a good bf.
koshboi SG I feel that wat star says is right. Well my advice will be similiar... In a relationship, there is no right or wrong.. is not an exam, this is a relationship where mutual feelings are interlinked with each other. To you, yr tactfulness might be seen as tactless who knoes... Do you know that it is not tactful to give in to every quarrel? What your gf might view is that you are a fragile guy, a guy that always give in to her demands. Relect on the issue that both of you quarrel, i believe both of you will have rights and wrongs in some ways. Try to firm and apologise for your wrong doings but not give in totally. Do reason out in a nice way that she does have wrongs in her parts as well. I guess in this way, she will feel a different you instead. A person with security and "tough" one. If yr gf demands you to give in whether she is right or wrong.. maybe i think its time you reflect on your relationship as well. Does she really suit you?
ShrodingersCat SG err tact simply means really NOT saying the wrong thing at ALL times. then there's diplomacy, saying the RIGHT thing at the right time. so its really easy to be tactful if you keep quiet when in doubt. Can be an overrated virtue though. Honesty is more important than tact when it comes to friends ba. If u keep asking and asking and asking and asking people whether you are tactless or not hor.. then actually not tactless one, will in the end become tactless.
smudgey SG Tactless is when you say things straight off the top of your head. when you did not think before hand if what you'll say will hurt the other party.... Example: A plate of chicken rice is served. you say " hey do you know how much fats is in a plate of chicken rice? and you(looking at her/his tummy) are still eating it?" this is not a very good example but is the only one i can think of now. by saying that, you friend/gf may pick that up as "don't u think you should watch wat you eat, given your figure now?" wherther a not you are tactless is impossible to tell unless we have conversed with you a lot. However being tactless may not only affect your gf but your friends too. why do you think your friends are bringing it to your attention? Just try to give what you wanna say a little more thought before you say it.
