how to talk into my gf about financial stuffs?

last SG · 2005-05-01T15:13:54+00:00

i think this method is a bit too 'systematic'??? a bit restricted this way...

zichuan SG

as the above topic, i very hard to talk to her about money matters, she always stress and we quarrell over the matter, how can i slowly talk into her about all this because if we married, all this things comes in .. we need to pull ourself together to face all this problems? any experience people her? share? thanks

Peppermint SG

its a bit hard esp when you 2 have conflicting financial thinking

eg one prefers to save and spend wisely to cater for emergency etc
while one prefers to spend while you can..coz say if u die u save how much also no use

with sg style of living...financial issues is always one thorny issue...and i feel its one issue which does not get sorted out b4 marriage

zichuan SG

its true, my gf like to spend her payday, but i told her to control abit.. but she is like dont care about what i say.. then i save save save.. she spend till haven next payday no money liao.. Crying or Very sad then she told me she no money i also sad, my financial status also no good, i dont know how to engage her into financial topic when i got the chance.

Peppermint SG

when u go out on dates who does the paying?

me and my gf have a 'dating fund'

every beginning of the month...we each contrinute 100 into this. so its abe 200. since we meet on weekends...50 per week is quite enuff

so say if we want to go for a short trip, we make sure there is enuff, if not either we spend less, or we top up an equal amount so that we can go...

this solves 2 issues...

1st- before she can spend, her spending power is reduced by 100...so she has to live with this restriction...

2nd- indirectly u encouraging her to save

hope this helps...and looking at your situation its better u hold the funds Smile

zichuan SG

i once use this tatic, i told her lets say u keep my funds, she say she see money she will spend 1, then i say i help u keep, she confirm dont want coz sensative thing, i think she faill into the money trap

Peppermint SG

so who does the paying? when u 2 go out…since she like to spend so much is it her?

zichuan SG

we balance ourself when we got money we both dont care who is paying. when we both financially down abit, she pay her own i pay my own share.

Peppermint SG

maybe u can stress to her on the part on 'down finicially both a bit'

it should be worrying that there are times when both of u have no or min $$

i suppose u 2 are students??

zichuan SG

she working monthly got pay, i student..

grief00 SG

The trouble is, i feel we guys tend to over-worry about money matters. Last time, used to have frequent discussions with my ex about our future. Everytime when talking about marriage, wedding dinner and stuff, she'll be so happy.. saying about how many tables she wanna have for wedding dinner, what countries she wanna go for honeymoon, wanna get top designer to design new flat, etc..

Everytime we discussed bout such matter, sure will end up unhappy, because I, being the more skeptical one, always worry that we should not spend too much on these unnecessarily. On the other hand, she felt that all of that is a must.

I guess for things to work out well, both parties gotta compromise abit.. I may be wrong in the past, always being pessimistic when it comes to talking bout money.

Xcert SG

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starlightz SG

its kind of hard to handle such issue ba.. but lucky for me, me n my gf quite save.. one month only 1 time go to restaurant eat, and each time only spend ard 20-30+.. she dun do shopping spree, but love window shopping v much hehe.. so usually not much problem.. but sometime i see her like a bag so much, but dun wan to spend on it, i will juz say "aiya i buy for u la" haha.. of course i do that when i calculate i have xtra $$ Smile

spencer99 SG

Financial compatibility is very important to a long term r/s / marriage but is often overlooked.

If you guys cannot come to an agreement/understanding, it would be better not to get married first. This is my advice.

dejour SG

you both can open an account together if u are to that stage of settling down with each other. every beginning or month end, both deposit the same amt into the account and no one is to touch it.
provided both really have plans to settle down together

dragg SG

obviously your girlfriends are not mature enough!!!

Laughing

zichuan SG

your comment hurts me.

grief00 SG

It's not whether his gf is matured enough or not. Different people view things differently.

We guys may think that girls are wasting their money buying clothes, accessories n stuff.

However, they also may think that we are spending unnecessarily, always upgrading to the latest phone models, go to pubs and drink, etc.

I believe life between couples will be much better if they can accept all these differences and give each other more freedom to spend on things that they like.

Gwy85 SG

Originally posted by dejour:

you both can open an account together if u are to that stage of settling down with each other. every beginning or month end, both deposit the same amt into the account and no one is to touch it.
[b]provided both really have plans to settle down together[/b]

My currently GF suggest opening an account together recently.. but e sad thing is.. she nt going to contribute a single cent to tat account.. I feel she want to control my fincial.. i dun reali like e idea~! Also always quarrel over money issues.. Sad

shinta SG

hmmm sounds like a good idea Very Happy

shinta SG

open an account together but she's not goin to contribute...

y not just give her ur atm card? Rolling Eyes