Hmmm....."hate" is a strong word eh? I guess you know she is a
good person but you are just unhappy with her behaviour,
right?
Well, for a start, what's the root of her unhappiness? We typically
behave from our inner self. If she is unhappy on the inside, how
can she display any form of kindness or positivity on the outside?
Is she happy with her marriage? What's her life like? I mean has
she got a life, like doing things she likes and enjoys? Is her life
all about chores and attending to her family?
I think your dad has a bigger role to play here. Like talk to her
(nicely), take her out for a walk (hand in hand, if possible),
watch and discuss a drama together, have tea-time at a coffee shop
and watch people go by at the same time enjoy a no-speech
togetherness.....both absorb in their own thoughts but know/feel
each other's presence. I don't know if anyone will reject warmth
and nice treatment. If she feels better and good about herself, it
will show.
The same for you, Den. You are unhappy about your job. So,
naturally, mood not at its greatest. Be calm, stay strong....talk
to your mum. Make her feel she is important and that you seek her
as your rock for understanding and compassion with what you are
going through. I am sure your mum loves and cares about you.
Sometimes, the approach is not so ideal because she doesn't know
any better. Sometimes, we "borrow" from what we were brought up
with. But ultimately, the intent is always meant well. Just be
selective with her words and pick those that sounds
encouraging.
Nagging, sorry, 
it's a women's
perogative (hee hee 
).
I know it sounds terrible and can get too much. It really depends
on how you folks approach your mum too to tell her to go easy on
it. A lot of things has two sides. If one is kind, it is harder for
the other to be unkind. If there is only one shouting, ultimately,
the "fun" is over and will shut up too.
I hope things will improve. As in anything else, relationship;
spousal, children, friends, colleagues.....there's always ups and
downs.
Cheers.... 
