Hi Yunhaier
There are some people who are the extreme opp. of your friend,
everything they blame themselves, earthquake in the sea also their
fault. While there are others who are totally like you friends,
everything is someone else fault, they are not ashome to point
finger at people. Somehow they are totally unaware that the
response a person give, is the mirror of what he make them feel
about him.
However I feel that you dont have to worry too much about him,
mostly because he will mostly lost you as a friend sooner or later
if he still doesnt change. 
Regards
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
It's
interesting to understand how behaviour could distort one's
preception.
Had a conversation with a friend who ranted to me that a
considerable number of people kinda hated/dislike (deleted whenever
neccessary) him and would do all sort of thing to hinder, make
things difficult or simply rude to him. He equate the reasons to a
whole lot of things: From their personality, to their mood of the
day, to vicious gossip, or even bigoted/unrelated views like
'O-level and below' (education) and him being a christian. (He felt
it's could also be the act of devil that is testing and challenging
his life and deliberately making things difficult for him because
of his religion).
Blame the whole world basically.
Being the listener, I listen. When he finished his final words, I
told him about Johari Window (some psychological theory)... about
the hidden self.
He immediately rejected the idea that it was himself that breed the
animosity. He strongly believed that he did nothing at all and
people just reacted this way.
He even claim that he's a deeper thinker and would think very much
into people's action and not just 'aiya hack it.' attitude.
All but himself?
Narcissistic? 
***
We are all self-absorbed in our own ways. Selfish
not because we are, rather, it's the resistance of true
acknowledgement. The mind works to repel all that YOU don't want to
acknowledge, but the heart does not lie. The mind can cloud the
heart, but the heart does not lie.
Disillusion?
Just dispelled an illusionary phrase of a good friend undergoing
deceptive relationship with an interesting variable: both the
deceived and the deceiving party are known friends. Alof of spilled
truth, alot of tears, alots struggle, alot of emotions.
You know, actually alot of these thingy could be spared if
acknowledgment play its part. [b]We resist, because we look
EVERYWHERE else, denying ourselves the actual reason for our
plight... denying a reason for our body, mind and soul to recognise
the plight... denying the wisdom to discern the above two
points. Of course I told her that she wouldn't
understand a single word of what I am saying UNTIL she gain enough
wisdom, humble down and acknowledge them.
When the matter hit a climax, she was crying out for comfort and
interestingly, I was completely unavailable. (Yunhaier is always
busy 
). She had no choice but to enlighten herself from within.
Contacted her several hours later, she surprised me with her sudden
maturity and told me that she finally understood the things that
was told to her previously. The amount of tears and raging emotions
was incredible then, but all was calm after the storm.
***
How
often do you resist or deny the acknowledgment of
your problematic truth that had been thrown into your path?
When you have KNOWN facts (that are measurable by evidences), but
opt to delude yourself and source for other means of explaination
for your plight?
....
...
..
.
...When you don't love her/him...
and acted like you did...?
...When you remain in a dead relationship, thinking you had the
power of resurrection.... ?
....When you waited for nothing, waited because WAIT has became a
habit....?
...When you know you will leave eventually, but reasons other than
love urge you on... ?
..... the list goes on....
Cheers [/b]
