Dear Reyes,
If your wife has been brought up in a more westernised environment,
would she be open to marriage counselling? Advice on issues
regarding trust is better sought from professional marriage
consultants. There may be a chance that your marriage can be
salvaged.
Notwithstanding the above, I have read in various magazines that
the younger your daughter is, the better she will be able to adapt
and eventually accept your divorce (this is in general,
academically speaking. However, it all depends on the individual
child).
You can also ease your daughter's feelings of loss prior to,
during, & after the divorce by talking to her & helping her
to understand. Words like, "Your mummy & I are having problems,
& it makes us unhappy, so we have to go on our separate ways.
I'm sure you want us to be happy, right? But, it doesn't mean that
just because we go our separate ways, we don't love you. I'll
always love you, & so will Mummy. We'll always be here for
you".
During the separation & divorce proceedings, keep calling her
to ask about her day, reassure her, etc, so that she doesn't feel
as if her world is falling apart. Try to make things as normal for
her as possible. Since you love your daughter so much, for her
sake, try to maintain a cordial relationship with your wife, so
that your daughter is able to see both of you & know that both
of you will always be there for her.
Hopefully, this will lessen her feelings of loss &
trauma.
FeowFeow
