I have this theory about relationships, let's see if make sense
to you.
To me, it's not so much about how good a person is, or how many
strong points he or she has. It's whether or not you can accept the
person's weaknesses. Just for example, if a person was sweet,
gentle, caring, basically everything "good", BUT they smoke, then
for me, there's no point in even pursuing the relationship
anymore.
Because what I've learnt is that people don't focus on others' good
points, but they zone in on the weaknesses of their partners.
Important to know is whether they can accept it or not. In the long
run, you don't want to keep arguing over each other's weak points,
in this case, smoking.
Please note that this is a very relative issue, because just
because I don't accept my partner smoking does not mean that
smoking is a bad bad thing. I mean, you should know what you can
tolerate or cannot tolerate over a long period of time. Obviously
if you are a smoker yourself then you won't mind your partner
smoking, right?
You have to find out what you can accept or can not accept in a
person. Basically, you have to ensure, yes I do mean ENSURE that
you are able to tolerate your partner's weaknesses. Just another
example. For me, I'm si-bey lazy, but my partner finds it amusing
rather than deadly, so she is able to accept this weakness of
mine.
In your case, your partner obviously takes you for granted.
However, unless you have actually spoken to him about it, there IS
a slight chance that he does not realise what he is doing! Some
people just blurt out words as a reflex without realising what it
does to other people. Before giving it up as a "weakness" you can't
accept, sort it out with him first. Having said that, he still has
to do his part for a relationship to work. He can't expect to just
shrug it off as "I'm not good with words" and expect everyone to
accept it. If you can, I really salute you.
After all, what is a point of a relationship if it does not serve
to make the parties involved happy?
I do not guarantee this theory works for everyone, because in my
opinion, every relationship is different and requires different
things to make it "tick".
Just my 2 cents.
